Good morning, y'all. It's Friday! I gotta be honest, I'm glad it's here. I have got that nasty cold that's going around which makes sleep fitful, at best. Plus, I've been working 16 hour days for a couple of weeks now. I look beat down about now. I have got to spend the weekend in some sort of self-induced coma to refresh.

Let's see what's going on in the world this morning, shall we?

We have a confirmed Attorney General? Damn, I have been out of the loop this week. Oh, and look at his picture! He's a 66 year-old white man. Shocker. No offense to old white dudes, but is that the best we can do? They're usually kind a cranky. (More than me, I mean)

Authorities say teachers had been attending an education conference at the Houston convention center when an escalator accident injured 30 of them. No word yet if Senator Shapiro was near the scene.

President Bush was in San Antonio stumping for Cornyn and gave a 'stirring' speech about the War on Terror and that it is a fight against "light versus dark." (insert eye roll here)

Then he actually talked to wounded veterans for TWO WHOLE HOURS and even wrapped his jacket around the shoulders of a soldier that lost his leg in Afghanistan (Read Jenny's Blog). Bush asked the soldier if he wanted to go home. "No. I want to go back (overseas)," Clark said.

"Isn't this a great country?" Bush responded.

I would have replied, "No, I want my goddamn leg back you sorry sack of shit." But, y'all know me...I have a hard time holding my tongue.

Bush is suffering from delusions, y'all. Here's a quote from his time in San Antonio:
"Some day people are going to look back at this time and day and say, 'Thank God there was a generation that did not lose faith ... because the Middle East is a place free of suiciders,'" Bush said.

suiciders? That's not even a word, dumbass. And no, some day we're going to look back on this generation and say what the hell was wrong with those weirdos. How did they elect an oppressive zealot? Twice!

Ok, I'm pissed off enough to go take a shower and get to the office. Surely there will be something hilarious to post so we can get through lunch with a laugh.

President Bush and French President Nicolas Sarkozy stood shoulder-to-shoulder against a nuclear-armed Iran on Wednesday, demonstrating the cozier relationship between the two countries under France's new conservative leader. (AP)

Wonder if they served "freedom fries" at lunch? Funny how Bush will cozy up to anybody he can manipulate into war. Remember how PM Tony Blair ruined his 'it boy' status by being wooed by George? Watch out France, we're about to create some issues for you.

And, since this headline will have me singing this song all day...here is a chance for you to hear it and get it stuck in your head, too.

Aloha! Pink said I should introduce myself. I'm mockingbird. I migrate, tweet incessantly, and look good. Real good. Not like all seductive and flashy, but hot like you don't know what hit you but you'll be damned if you don't want me bad.

Peace!

Hey! I'm a bird with a branch in my mouth and I said PEACE goddammit!

Millions of children's toys were recalled because they contain a chemical that mimics the date rape drug. Fraternity guys across the nation were saddened by the news and vowed to resort to plying sorority girls with too much Jack Daniels Hard Lemonade this holiday season so that national statistics of date rape would not be dampened.

Pat Robertson threw his endorsement at Rudy Giuliani yesterday in an effort to remain a relevant figure in American politics. The desperate act clearly based on Giuliani's mounting frontrunner status in the GOP field of candidates. The prospect of losing a president's ear frightened the Televangelist so much he's willing to ignore the idealogical and spiritual differences between him and the candidate. Proving, once and for all, that the Christian Coalition's goals are not the expansion of Christian beliefs but raw political ambition and power. (Source)

A Homeland Security employee wore a prison outfit, dreadlocks and black face makeup to a Halloween party. Ok. Stop right there. Let's assume this man a.) lives in one of the most racially diverse cities in America, b.) works for an agency criticized for not helping poor black people in New Orleans, c.) has some sort of education.

Then, let's assume his bosses have similar world experiences. Why then did it take two days before his boss sent an email that said, in part: In a November 2 email to ICE employees, Myers said, "It is now clear that, however unintended, a few of the costumes were inappropriate and offensive."

I love that. "It is now clear." Really? After the photos of Myers were posted online and people complained, she suddenly realizes that perhaps dressing up as a racial stereotype could be considered offensive? What happened? Did she wake up from a drug-induced 25 year haze and realize..."Oh, it's 2007. People find black face and racial stereotyping offensive now."

I don't blame Myers, really. She didn't dress up in the costume and now she's scrambling to cover her own ass. I do blame the person that thought this would be a good idea. How ignorant can people be that they think it's ok to show up at a work party dressed in an offensive costume?

Unidentified man with a gun seen near the Capitol. 13th and Lavaca shut down. Stay inside y'all.

Capitol just got the all clear. APD still searching for gunman.

11:40--Second call comes into APD about a gunman. This time from the 500 block of Lavaca. What the hell are y'all doing? The cancer proposition totally passed. Jeesh!

At least the Gov has his priorities right -- skipping the election party to celebrate 25 with Anita. Since he usually can't do anything without the direction of staff, wonder if they were present to help him get through the evening with his bride?

Kentucky did not re-elect their raging homophobe Republican governor. (How long before he's discovered in a rest stop getting it on with a trucker?)

Mississippi keeps their Republican governor. D'uh. Remember my post yesterday about cognitive dissonance? The people in Mississippi are experts in delusional living....they convinced themselves it's ok to live in Mississippi for Christ's sake!

Overall Democrats picked up Governor's seats and now hold 28 states compared to the GOP's 22. Virginia picked up four Democratic state senate seats. (source)

That adulterer, Gavin Newsom, was re-elected mayor of freakville, I mean San Francisco.

Houston re-elected Mayor White in a landslide. The Houston Chronicle anoints him as 2010 Texas Governor frontrunner in gushing schoolgirl way.

San Antonio voters say "Hell No" to more taxes for schools. No one stunned. Seriously, what nerd votes for more taxes?

El Paso votes for a Children's Hospital, old folks are on their own.

The Tyler Morning Telegraph gets my best photo award:

This is Herb Buie, chairman of the Build the Jail Committee, not happy. Not happy at all that voters did not approve a $125 million jail. In downtown. Aw, Herb, maybe next year you could propose a turd factory on the lawn of City Hall!

From Fort Worth: Democrat Dan Barrett beat out six Republican competitors in the District 97 state House race, but will still have a runoff whenever Perry gets around to it. Barrett's sole campaign issue: "I will oppose Speaker Tom Craddick"

Record your vote, bitches!

Proposition 11: Legislature Record Votes (to require that a recorded vote be taken by a house of the Legislature on final passage of any bill, other than certain local bills and ceremonial resolutions, and provides for public access on the Internet to those recorded votes)

I wonder if this will put a stop to the multiple voting we've seen past legislative sessions?

Brian Williams schools a Fox News viewer.

Pat Boone has produced two robo calls in support of Ernest Lee. They’re paid for by the Republican Party of Kentucky, of course. Both are warning of the danger of not electing Ernest Lee. We broke it down. If you don't elect Ernest Lee, Kentucky will become:

You can listen to the calls in the link.

What else do we not know about the contract between the State of Texas and Cintra-Zachary? Reduced speeds on I-35 to send traffic to the toll road? What about the intersection ownership re: restaurants and gas stations? What other conditions lurk in those contracts? and...what other $$$ are coming to state officials for this deal? I put this deal right there with the DPS videos of the capitol back hallways! Give us the f*ucking truth for a change!

Ron Paul raised $3.5 million through Internet donations. I'm not shocked, his campaign seems to be made up of a network of online activists. I don't get his appeal. I had never even heard of him until he was on Jay Leno saying he wanted to abolish the IRS. Uhm...ok freak...you go ahead and do that.

Just watch, his supporters will find this post and put it in forums and say the nastiest things you've ever read about me. They will call me part of a conspiracy to discredit him and if I had any advertisers they would tell me how they are calling them up to demand they pull advertising from the site.

Of all the, arguably, mean things I have said about politicians I have never had a group so over-the-top before. That sort of fanaticism only confirms my quickly developing belief that they're all a bit off their hinges.

A lot of people I know go to MySpace and Facebook as soon as they get a resume. It's when you see photos like the ones described on DListed that you don't even bother to call them in for an interview.

The Facebook forum where girls are posting drunk and passed out photos of themselves ought to be a human resource manager's go to resource for reference checks.

The NYTimes has an article today on a study of cognitive dissonance in both humans and monkeys. It surely raised my IQ just for reading the damn thing. I admit, I was lured in by the sub headline: "Go ahead, rationalize...even monkeys do it"

I thought, oh! This has to be an article about poor people that are rabidly Republican. Cognitive dissonance is a fancy word for delusional. Sometimes, when I am frustrated I might also refer to someone suffering from cognitive dissonance as 'retarded.' I'm fascinated on the subjects of how people delude themselves into supporting a political affiliation that is manipulating your tiny brain for your vote and then destroying your way of life when in office.

I'm also fascinated by people that can live in a trailer home and have a broke down piece of junk car and think that George Bush cares about them and Hillary Clinton is the devil.

I'm fascinated by people that cannot afford to send their children to college, but think gay marriage is the number one agenda item for domestic policy.

Overall, I'm fascinated at the massive "cognitive dissonance" in this country. I'd like to see someone do a study on that. I'd also like to work on my debating skills because when I get frustrated dealing with these deluded people I usually just sputter, "OMG, you are retarded" and storm off. I'm not convincing anyone, persuading them they are wrong...I'm thinking if I could get away with it I would hit you in between the eyes with a ball peen hammer. Then I bet you'd shut up.

Ok, I must go have some coffee. Clearly I'm full of rage this morning.

Time to GOTV. I predict a very low voter turnout, which is so sad. How many billions of dollars are we voting on today that about 2% of Texans are going to decide on for the other 98%?

Election day is so sad when you walk up to someone and they say, "Why are you wearing that vote sticker?" I just answer, "Because I love America more than you do."

At least read the props before you go vote. I'm only voting yes on three of the proposals, and no, the cancer money prop 15 is not one of them.

KXAN's political reporter, Jenny Hoff, is probably best known for volunteering to be tasered by the Austin Police Department. But, maybe her fortunes will change. She just got back from Afghanistan. KXAN sent her over there and she's blogging all about it and has some great YouTube's. (I know, I helped her pick out which ones to post so far)

I helped her set up the blog for KXAN and have been riveted to her stories from her trip. She got to interview the former Austin Police Chief, Stan Knee, and he even acted as her security guard. She talked with soldiers from the Austin area and brought back videos of some of the most abject poverty I've seen in a while.

Do me a favor and keep up with her trip on her blog. Spread the word, too.

I figure if Eileen can pimp out TexasMonthly.com, I can pimp out KXAN. Are we ok with that?

The new talking Jesus Doll is creating quite a stir! Imagine the possibilities! The Tom Craddick doll has various messages about his divine right to be speaker and trample the rules. The Rick Perry doll utters "Mofo" and "Just let us get on down the Road." We could have Texas "primary" and enter our doll in a national competition. At least we'd be first in something besides uninsured children