Ok. Why can't we keep the embarrassment of our governor isolated to Texas? Now our lame duck Texas Governor decides to pander to the ultra-conservative national party and embarass California Governor Arnold in the process. I'd like to see a wrestling match between Rick and Arnold. Let's hook Perry up with Fred. Talk about a wide stance!

John Cornyn was asked by Texas hospital adminstrators this week why he was supporting the cancellation of children's health (CHIP). His lame response: I got a call from the White House. Who's your Daddy, Cornyn -- Gepetto?

Hey Y'all,
I'm having my coffee looking over the headlines. Who's going to Florida this weekend for the game? Not me. My team is playing Arkansas this weekend. I hate those damn Razorbacks. It's ACL Festival weekend here in Austin and Gay Pride in Dallas. Where would you rather be?

The Statesman must really want me to read about this lawsuit regarding pepper spray at the TYC because it's been on their home page all friggin' week. I'm still not reading it. Nothing new in the AAS today except ACL, UT football, and some dead woman in a fountain.

While I'm moving over to the SAXN and the Chron, tell me about your week. Mine was ok except for just one run-in with a raving bitch. Other than that, things are peachy. Did you see that story in the Houston Chronicle where some crazy kid killed a man in plot to take over Marin County in California and turn it into King Arthur's Court? That shit is hilarious. Well, not murder...but how crazy people are. I eat that shit up when I read it, don't you?

Not much else this morning except Mike Gravel, I think he's running for president. He said that Americans are getting fatter and dumber. It's caused quite a stir among the fat and stupid! They are all up in arms. How dare someone point out the obvious?

The Mormon Boys calendar is causing quite the stir. I'm not sure what the fascination is with beefcake posters, but I'm very sure I know what the fascination with sexing up a Mormon is all about.

A friend of mine got one of these spams the other day and I thought to myself that it been a while since I got one. I love them so much I am posting it here for us to review: My comments in [Bold]

from: Bank Of America
[Wow! BofA, one of the nation's largest financial institutions uses yahoo! mail. That's pretty neat.]
date Sep 13, 2007 3:21 PM
[Well, it wasn't sent at 2 a.m. so maybe something just happened to my account.]
subject Bank of America Account Review Department !
[OMG! An exclamation point! From my bank! It must be urgent!]

We recently have determined that different computers have logged onto your Online Banking account, and multiple password failures were present before the logons. We now need you to re-confirm your account information to us.
[Oh no. I've read about this identity theft stuff. I saw a special about it on Dateline even!]

If this is not completed by September 16, 2007, we will be forced to suspend your account indefinitely, as it may have been used for fraudulent purposes. We thank you for your cooperation in this manner.
[If they suspend my account for fraudulent purposes it would be impossible to get my money back. I better act now.]

To confirm your Online Banking records click on the following link:
http://64.22.72.117/www.bankofamerica.com/index.htm
[I've never noticed weird numbers before BofA's URL before, but maybe that goes to a special page for fraud like this.]

Thank you for your patience in this matter.
[You betcha BofA! Thanks for catching it!]

Bank of America Customer Service
[Gee, I wish they had a 1-800 number, but I guess those are expensive]

Please do not reply to this e-mail as this is only a notification. Mail sent to this address cannot be answered.

© 2007 Bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.
[Despite my doubts about this, there's no way it isn't real..it says copywrite 2007 BofA right there.]

Seriously. I'm of two mindsets here. A.) the government ought to be doing something about this bullshit spam that tricks people and B.) if you're this fucking dumb then maybe you deserve to lose all you money to some grifter.

Attorney General Greg Abbott is apparently supporting Fred Thompson for president and he's as giddy as a schoolgirl to tell you about it. Someone forwarded me this email. The subject: Want to meet Fred Thompson? (Uhm, no)

Dear (Redacted):
It’s official. Fred Thompson is running for President of the United States. And his campaign is really taking off, which is why USA Today recently ran the headline: “Thompson Climbs in GOP Poll.”

I'm strongly supporting former Senator Thompson and I hope you will consider supporting him too.

Next week Senator Thompson will be in Texas for a series of fundraisers. Here is a quick summary of his schedule:

Austin Luncheon - Wednesday, September 19th.
Houston Evening Reception - Wednesday, September 19th.
San Antonio Breakfast - Thursday, September 20th
Dallas Luncheon - Thursday, September 20th
Fort Worth Evening Reception - Wednesday, October 10th

If you are interested in joining me at one of these events, please send an email to [redacted.com], or call 512-4[redacted]. Tell them that Greg Abbott sent you.

Even if your schedule won't permit you to join us, Senator Thompson would benefit from your support. You can click on the following link to contribute online:

Click Here to Contribute to Fred Thompson

Let me know if you’d like more details or are interested in attending. Feel free to respond to this email if you have any questions.

Thanks,

Greg Abbott
Paid for by Texans for Greg Abbott
P.O. Box 308, Austin, Texas 78767
Authorized by Friends of Fred Thompson, Inc.

++++++

Wow. A.) There's a thing called grammar. B.) Well, I just can't come up with a 'B' so I'll leave it all of you. Pitiful. Who wrote this? Some intern from Texas State? All of my apologies to Texas State for just offending you like that, I just haven't picked on y'all in a while.

We are officially done with you. No more linking to your stories and trying to drive traffic to your exceptional writing and scoops. We'll just wait for them to get picked up by some other paper that does not make their interactive experience a disaster.

Your site is excruciating. It is not user-friendly, it is swamped with advertising, including the most evil of all ads, the pop-op box. You cannot read any content unless you register on the site and for some reason loading your content and advertising slows your site down so much I can go check my email while waiting for your page to load. I haven't taken the time to do a full site evaluation. I wouldn't do that for free, anyway.

You are being left behind in the new media adaptations being embraced by other MSM outlets. I would point you to the Houston Chronicle and the Austin American-Statesman as examples of how to build user interfaces that are not draconian such as the one you have today. Interactive Media is the frontier and your site looks like your print edition scanned into the Internet...with passwords required!

Now I am not only taking you off my bookmarks and going to stop perusing your headlines, but I am also encouraging everyone I know to do the same. I hope this sends you a message that you need help fast! Hire someone to come in and conduct a usability study and provide you with information on how other media outlets have embraced the Internet and are expanding their sphere of influence into the new media world. I happen to know the perfect company and I will put you in touch with them if you email me.

Until then, If you can read this, do not visit Dallas Morning News' site.

Signed,
Exasperated with you.

P.S. No offense to all of the lovely writers over at the DMN, whom I love. Maybe you should forward this to your editors.

Literally. A 7 year-old girl in Plano is dead after a big-ass TV fell on her. That's sad, because 7 years-old is awfully young to die. But, that's a really stupid way to die...in a---you may be a redneck if your TV was so big it killed your daughter--kind of way.

I had a cousin that was killed by a coke machine. Someone pulled a machine over on him and poor little thing was crushed to death. When my cousin called me and told me how he died I laughed so hard she hung up on me. I didn't go to the funeral because the whole family knew I'd bust out laughing if they starting talking about how that damned coke machine took his life at such an early age.

(This story was in the Dallas Morning News, but I am not linking to their site anymore.)

Dang, that Humberto was a quick little bastard wasn't he? When I first heard about a storm it wasn't even a storm, but by this morning at 5 a.m. it was a hurricane bringing 16 inches of rain to the coast. That's too fast. I prefer a long, slow approach to a climatic storm. Sixteen inches pounding the coast is too much, too....while we're at it.

DIRTY!

The Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) enrollment has increased by 27,000 in the last month says the Chron. In the 80th session Rep. Sylvester Turner and Senator Kip Averitt sponsored a bill that "increased state funding for the program, eliminated the waiting period and restored the yearly eligibility cycle." It's been progress in helping mid-income parents with their children's health insurance.

The bad news is that President Bush has said that he will veto the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) funding bill because it's "a stealth attempt to federalize health care".

Come on WTF?

Holy Moly! Health care premiums have jumped 78 percent since 2001. During the same time, wages have only increased 19 percent and inflation 17 percent. It's not like in the oil industry where companies are posting record profits, either.

As premiums rise, small and mid-size employers cut benefits and in some cases don't offer employer sponsored health care to their employees at all. Even large companies with 10,000 employees are reducing benefits and looking at ways to continue offering coverage. There are more and more flexible spending accounts, high deductible health plans and even financing for health care out-of-pocket expenses.

For every person opposed to the government doing anything about health care costs, take a review of your pay stubs and how much coverage you've lost in the past six years. Eyes are on California as they grapple with a solution not as radical as what they've done in Massachusetts.

We can bet that Texas will jump right on this bandwagon. We know how eager the legislature and this governor are to look out for the citizens!!

The Chron has an article about former Texas Southern University President Priscilla Slate's court case*. Slade's assistant testified that she [Slade] spent almost $40,000 on a 25 person dining set, and even worse she didn't pay taxes on it because of TSU's tax-free status.

I can see the commercial now...

Neiman Marcus shopping spree... $39,793.75
25-person dining set to wow donors... $40,000
House renovations including drapes and bedding...$500,000
Rotting in jail with a cheap orange prison suit, no drapes (or windows), cold bunk and eating on
a plastic plate with a plastic fork...priceless

Oh yeah she did this to improve the university's image but I don't think it worked.

*Slade is charged with two counts of misapplication of fiduciary property over $200,000, a first-degree felony. If convicted, Slade faces a punishment ranging from probation to life in prison.

Nope. Race isn't an issue, ever. A bank customer was in a bank getting a car loan when police swarmed the bank with shotguns after a teller thought the black man laughing with a loan officer looked suspicious. Don't all black people look suspicious? (Video Link)

Senator Roy West is the man's lawyer as they began what can only be described as a hilarious pursuit of exposing this example of racist tellers at Wells Fargo, and racist and undertrained Frisco cops.

Don't worry...I haven't forgotten.

Don't let the fact that I oppose a war that was created out of thin air by a President that I think should be in jail fool you into thinking that if I could get my hands on Osama Bin Laden I wouldn't gut him like a fish. Then I'd hang him from a spike on the Washington Monument and take pictures and send it every terrorist in the world and say, "Don't F with America...It ain't about Allah or some other whipped up bullshit...it's gonna be about you, me and your intestines all over the ground if you come over here again with so much as a firecracker in your pocket."

That was so butch!

Thirty-Six percent of the 1,000 people surveyed believe that the troop surge is working in Iraq. Of those, 2/3 are Republicans. All 36% were people I'd like to punch in the face for being too stupid to live. Meanwhile, forty-seven percent of those surveyed in Iraq, want America to get the fuck out of their country. Seventy percent believe things are worse since the U.S. sent in more forces.

They have their 30% morons and we've got our 36% morons that are fooling themselves about the facts of this war. I think this data gives me a new hypothesis! Between 30 and 36% of the population are incapable of understanding complex situations and shouldn't be allowed to operate vehicles or vote.

The school year started, what..five minutes ago, and we've already got the first bitching about TAKS underway. (AAS)

I'm not a fan of the TAKS either, but let's see what paraphrasing of a great Texas political quote comes to mind...The TAKS is kind of like a thunderstorm, sometimes you just got to sit back and enjoy it.

There's a very interesting NYTimes article about illegal immigrants contributing to Social Security and Medicare, as well as the taxes they do pay. "...the estimated seven million or so illegal immigrant workers in the United States are now providing the system with a subsidy of as much as $7 billion a year." Plus, these immigrants will never get the opportunity to access these benefits since they are not using their own Social Security Numbers.

Doesn't it always boil down to money?

Here's another example of how it boils down to money. Let's say you are building a house and the general contractor can't verify if the people building your house are all legal citizens. (We both know they aren't and he's paying them less than he would if they were.) If you demanded that everyone building your house be legal citizens what do you think that would do to the cost? Would it go up by 10, 20, 30%? How much more are you willing to pay and forego the granite countertops and dream kitchen experience?

Bullet Proof Baby stroller. (Video starts automatically) As sophisticated as I am about the Internet, I couldn't tell if this is real or not. If this is real, can't we call some authorities to take that baby away from these nutjobs?

This is a GREAT example of why viral marketing doesn't always work! I'm so glad I posted here for you to learn from. There is way too much disconnect between the disturbing message and the logo and message for the movie they are trying to promote.

Y'all know I am not a journalist and I never interview people, but I was asked if I wanted to speak to Tony and Dex who were married by Tori Spelling on her reality show(video). I thought why the hell not and I learned a few things that I thought I would share. Read the story by clicking permalink!