The Fort Worth City Council and the State Fair of Texas officials screwed the pooch this week.
1) Just when I was about to take up smoking, the Fort Worth City Council voted to ban smoking inside most public places except bars. (I have to forgive the ever so beautiful Councilwoman Wendy Davis) I guess I will have to resort to drinking twice as much now.
2) The officials of the State Fair are encouraging vendors to fry all fried food (fried tamales, corndogs, funnel cakes, coke and PB &J) in trans-fat free oil . Screw the wankers (trying to use this more in my vocabulary) who are trying to ruin my good time at the fair.
The only thing worse than these two events, is the picture the Dallas Morning News used of a lady with a corn dog. Really? You didn't have a better picture? Really?
Mmm, corndogs. I'm sorry...what was I talking about?
President Bill Clinton will be in Austin next month to campaign for Senator Hillary Clinton. The Statesman has the invite. Who's buying me a ticket? (View the invite)
...a Pentecostal convention in Las Vegas, somebody's coming out of it different than they went in but not necessarily for the better. The Texas Advocacy something or over is hosting an event at the Barton Creek Spa and Resort. For a $100,000 donation to Speaker Craddick's campaign fund you can enjoy a full list of events designed to keep the lobbyists in compliance with weak ethics laws.
Here's my favorite breakout:
10:00 a.m. — 10:50 a.m.
Blog and Blackberry Lobbying
How today’s real-time e-mail and Internet communications impact the lobby and political leadership and the associated ethical and legal questions
Panel Background: Discussion of the practical, political and ethical issues arising from real-time news and legislative communications in the process of governing. Included are issues such as journalistic integrity vs. political spin; when online news and opinion becomes leg. advertising requiring disclosure; when blogs and special interest newsletters and RSS feeds become a campaign contribution or a reportable campaign expenditure; and what are the next steps in the e-frontier.
Confirmed Speakers: Paul Burka, Texas Monthly; Mike Hailey, Capitol Inside; Harvey Kronberg, Quorum Report; Ross Ramsey, Texas Weekly
OMG, tell more more about the e-frontier. (My eyes just rolled out of my head at the thought of Paul Burka and Harvey Kronberg talking about e-frontiers.) Burka, a print stalwart that has hated blogs and when he got his own gets freaked out by the comments and Kronberg, who...don't get me wrong love the QR, but wouldn't know an e-frontier if it bit him the ass.
If you are interested in the impact of New Media on campaigns and policy, contact me or Pink Lady and for a reasonable fee we'll perform a skit. In the nude!
The FWST website had a caption, Abs of Steel, yesterday which was big news. I realized that someone did not leak a picture of me and gave it to the FWST. It was a picture of Russian President Vladimir Putin shirtless. I was worried because if it came down to a showdown 1 on 1 (Bush vs. Putin) to see which country would rule the world it looks like Putin might kick some butt. That's why nobody should vote for Kucinich!
Texas executed its 400th prisoner since the death penalty was reinstated here in 1982. Critics say that the death penalty is not a deterrent for criminals. I agree, in its current incarnation. The death penalty should be carried out much more swiftly in order to be a deterrent. This prisoner had been on death row since 1998. For all the hand-wringing over the death penalty let's take a moment to remember a 49-year old woman he shot twice in the head.
Let's see how long before we hit the next execution milestone!
Oh, and to all those opposed to the death penalty eat yourselves up in the comments. Don't care.
One of my favorite cartoons growing up was Captain Planet. Captain Planet was a superhero who saved the earth from pollution and bad stuff. Anyways, I was thinking that Hollywood should make this into a big action flick and who better to play Captain Planet than Al Gore. If anyone has connections and can get this going, all I ask if for some credit and money. This would be a lot better than Leonardo DiCaprio's new movie.
Of course I had to add a pic.
A history teacher in Ogden, Utah realized that the school name James A. Madison named after the 4th President of the United States was wrong. Well its just James Madison Jr. (no A) but which smart ass doesn't check Google, a book, Wikipedia, or an encyclopedia. Not to worry the school is getting the signs and letterhead changed. (Chron)
Tip: Don't move to Utah. (This is about the bajillionth reason we could come up with for you not to move to Utah. #1 is that it's filled with Morman freaks.)
And just for fun, here's another story out of Utah. Police Chief's stripper wife was arrested for selling drugs. Yeah, I didn't even make that shit up.
Jenna "BoozeHound" Bush will have some decisions on where to get married. We're sure the pollsters are begging for a White House wedding and the sure-to-follow jump in the president's numbers because people are suckers for a wedding! Maybe Jenna wants to have it here in Austin so she can re-visit her glory days of binge drinking and mooning the governor's mansion. (Radar)
Senator Shapleigh had to ask the state to audit the El Paso School District after an architect pleaded guilty to fraudulently helping a district employee's daughter get a loan. Why wouldn't the fact that an architect working on a school project pleading guilty to fraud trigger a local someone's tiny brain that maybe they needed to dig a little deeper?
An author of inspirational books from Carrollton (close to Dallas) has pleaded guilty and sentenced to five years in prison for possession of child pornography. That's why I don't read inspirational books because they are usually full of crap. If you do read, then look for the next book from this creepy dude. DMN
Ah, child pornography stories. They never get old, do they?
The European Union has urged Gov. Perry to stop the executions (FWST) because we all know that we love killing people here in Texas. Perry responded with a maniacal laugh and said when we get the North American Union we are going to kick your ass. He also tried to burn down the capitol as a final act of defiance.
From Towleroad:
Blogger Lane Hudson files FEC complaint against Fred Thompson: "It is my contention that he has violated the 'testing the waters' exemption of election law. He has been presenting himself as a candidate for President, he has been raising large sums of money beyond what would be required to explore a possible candidacy, and he has signed a long term lease on a headquarters for his campaign. He has even spent advertising dollars, which are specifically prohibited by the law."
No, Congressman Bob Filner, we don't. Filner has been charged with assault after an incident at the Dulles Airport. Ah. Entitlement. Ain't it grand, y'all?
Because he sure is full of shit. There will be yet another Perry fundraiser at the Four Seasons here in Austin on September 5th. The suggested 'donations' are from $1,000 to $50,000.
"From time to time, my approach stirs up the chattering class, but I try not to forget what is important: representing average people who work hard, play by the rules and expect government to be as honest and efficient as they have to be every day," Perry saidUgh, who is still giving him money? Do they really think he's national candidate material? Morons.
People with this much money to throw away make me think I ought to run for office. Maybe I'll head down to the Four Seasons and pass my own hat. Whomever gives me the most money can totally set my political agenda.
Houston can begin enforcing their ordinance about restricting the location of sex businesses in the city.
In a short written opinion, the court affirmed a finding earlier this year by a federal judge in Houston that the city had properly imposed rules prohibiting such businesses from operating within 1,500 feet of schools, churches, parks and licensed day-care centers.This means the teachers seducing their students, the pastors needing a full-release massage, the men that troll parks for sex and pedophiles will have a bit further to drive for their sexual needs. (Chron)
Two teenagers preparing for their very first time were interrupted mid-coitus when the candles they lit to set the mood set the house on fire. The two were pictured naked in the morning paper among the ruins. (Reuters)
That ought to do it for some sexual hangups in their future!
The Hillary Nutcracker. I'll totally make out with you if you buy me one.
The Queen of Mean, Leona Helmsley is dead at age 87. Mrs. Helmsley is famous for being a supreme bitch that evaded taxes, committed fraud, terrorized staff, fired employees because they were gay, and even ruined a company just to avoid paying back salary to employees.
Ah..the 80's. Don't you miss them? Hope the rooms in Hell have nice towels and phone in every bathroom!
I loathe the television show To Catch a Predator. The smarmy Chris Hansen and the glee with which the Perverted Justice crew entrap people is television at its worst. The Perverted Justice people use names like Frag and Xavier and sit online all day trying to get men to talk to them in a sexually explicit way. Something is wrong with you if this is your job...or life's passion.
Chris Hansen and Dateline are even worse. They use it for ratings. It's all lights! Camera! Action! As it was in the case in Murphy, Texas. A respected former D.A. shot himself when the S.W.A.T. team from Terrell busted into his home. Seriously. The S.W.A.T. team busted in the home of a 50-something year old former D.A.'s home because he chatted online with a fake teenage boy.
The family of the man that shot himself in the head when he discovered the S.W.A.T. team in his house is now suing NBC, the Murphy and Terrel police departments and Perverted Justice. I hope she gets every dime they've ever seen.
You can read the entire feature in the latest issue of Esquire Magazine.
Why the fire trucks outside the Capitol today? Apparently, there's five of them at 15th and Colorado.
Health Reminder Cartoon I saw online.
Favorite line: "Mummies and Daddies don't have time to play with toys. They have too many spreadsheets to do."
Seriously, who comes up with these bizarre cartoons on the Internet? They make me laugh uncomfortably.
District 23 certainly isn't raising the bar in the GOP candidate field. James McGrody (to the max) is considering jumping back into the race. Instead of raising money, he plans to get your email address and bombard you with spam on his positions on issues. This sure sounds like a winning strategy!
Winning strategies are apparently something McGrody doesn't know anything about. The SAXN gives a great synopsis of his political resume:
In 2004, he helped coordinate Republican Jim Valdez's losing campaign against state Sen. Leticia Van de Putte. Earlier that year, he worked on Joe Solis' anti-establishment — and unsuccessful — bid for chairmanship of the Bexar County Republican Party.
State Representative Kevin Bailey (D-HOU) is calling for hearing this week on the Houston Crime Lab. The lab has been criticized for a litany of foul-ups and lack of protocols. Rep. Bailey pushed legislation through requiring the accreditation of crime labs throughout the state.
Uhm, why does there have to be a hearing on this issue? Why wouldn't law enforcement want the crime lab's results to be unimpeachable? Shouldn't the HPD Chief be the one getting the press with his strong commitment to implementing recommendations from an investigation into the crime lab's deficiencies?
I still peruse the headlines, but now I'm loathe to click on a link to read an entire story. Every click gives me a pop-up even though I have them blocked, there are advertisements before every article and when I've cleared my cookies and cache it's asking me for a password to read an article. I hate that!
The Statesman recently won some award for their site and I will say it's improved, but to me the Houston Chronicle is the easiest site to navigate and has the most unobtrusive advertisements. It bites because I like the DMN.
I hope you all enjoyed the tax-free weekend of shopping. I did!
Like Global Warming, there is something else in danger...the Bill of Rights.
Broad surveillance powers approved by Congress this month could allow the Bush administration to conduct spy operations that go well beyond wiretapping to include — without court approval — certain types of physical searches of U.S. citizens and the collection of their business records, Democratic congressional officials and other experts said.(AAS)
I do not approve of broad surveillance powers on U.S. citizens by the government. This ain't Russia and I don't care if the government says "It's to protect you against terrorism."
Listen, jackasses, I'll take my chances against terrorists rather than having the government eroding my rights and sticking their nose into my business. I'm an American. My life is full of freedom and liberty so get your goddamn hands off my business records, my phone calls, my computer and if you so much as go near my ass for a cavity search you're gonna pull back a nub.
Diana Maldonado (D-Round Rock) will challenge State Rep. Mike Krusee (R-Taylor) in House District 52. 
Rep. Krusee has made plenty of people angry with his whole Texas Trans Corridor support. He's only wavered briefly in his support of Craddick and is on the list of targeted state officials by many groups.
Diana Maldonado is a RRISD trustee and has spent the past 13 years as head of the Tax Applications Section in the State Comptroller's Office. That's great and all, but can she dance to the tune of District 52?
Surely she'll be better than horse face Krusee. HEE HAW MIKE!
That's all. I just had to say it. Resume your Sunday.
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