Over and over again. Either that or Dell is the only business in Austin. Check out this screenshot from this morning's front page on their site.

So, I'm guessing that the accounting thing is almost over at Dell?

Dear Statesman, if you're looking for an online editor you are in luck! I'm available and currently looking for something new.

Goes to....State Representative Jessica Farrar. I received three "Women taking a seat at the Table of Power" silk scarves in the mail today with a personal note from the representative encouraging me to update my wardrobe. Class act.

The scarves are from WAND (Women's Action for New Directions).

Texas Monthly is announcing the annual Best & Worst Legislators right this very minute. We hadn't given it much thought, but we'll let you know what we hear. The issue should be on newstands next week.

The full list is in the permalink. This year was again a lot easier to pick the 'worsts' and there was no shortage. My most bittersweet moment is that Rep. Nathan Macias was given the honor of 'furniture' for being a do-nothing. Just so you folks in that district no, Rep. Carter Casteel was never 'furniture' and you dumbasses that elected him should still be hanging your heads in shame. (No, I won't just let it go.)

The Southern Baptist Convention was apparently all in an uproar over whether or not it's ok to speak in tongues or not. (It's not) The convention passed some vague language that says they would prefer you not speak in tongues. But, they say people will still do it. Wow, what an admission! How can a religion think it's ok for people to speak in tongues but not ok for gay men and women to get married?

The convention also featured several other proposals to -get this- decide "who is considered a Baptist in good standing." All of these people are going to hell as far as I'm concerned. How do you decide who's a Baptist in good standing? My grandmother could have answered this without some damn convention. She would have said, "If you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, you are saved. For God so loved the Earth that he gave his only begotten son to die for your sins."

There's your damn litmus test.

Dear Grandma,
I'm sorry about all the swearing. I know it embarrasses you and yes, I know I was raised better than that. It's just that things are so different now and I get so mad about stuff the cuss words just kind of come out before I know it.

Love, Me

According to press reports, Governor Perry is expected to announce Phil Wilson to replace Williams as the SOS. Wilson is a deputy chief of staff for Perry and we know pretty much nothing about him. You can fill us in by leaving comments.

Harriet Miers will receive a subpeona to dish the dirt on the federal prosecutor firings. She's expected to recite a love poem about George in her opening statement.

A state lawmaker was gunned down in Monterrey yesterday. That's about the 80th murder so far this year there and it doesn't seem to be slowing down. State lawmakers refused to comment, probably because they are scared shitless. If this happened in Texas don't you think state lawmakers would be clamoring for face-time with a camera? Hell, Perry would probably call a special to approve bomb runs on the city!

There is supposedly a "war on drugs" to go with our "war on terror" and I am beginning to feel like we ought to just go down to Mexico, push those officials out of the way and say...You had your chance, now you're just pissing us off...move."

This map is sure to give you a double-take!

Somebody about a thousand times smarter than me compared individual states to countries GDP and put this together. It's awesome. And if seeing Oklahoma's GDP compared to the Phillipines doesn't make you laugh out loud today, nothing will.

From a tipster:

The Craddicktator wouldn’t recognize the Members to vote on his leadership, but now state employees have a chance. His budget lackey, Don Green, is in a run-off for the Employees Retirement System board, against Kimberly Ross Eaton, a parole officer supervisor from West Texas. You’ll recall that a Craddick-appointee to this mixed-elected and appointed board was Bill Ceverha, treasurer of the indicted TRMPAC. He also thought it would be cute to list on his financial disclosure statements a “check” as a “disclosed” gift (that turned out to be $50,000 from uber-donor Bob Perry). Do we really need Craddick money guys on the ERS board?

State employees, the ERS Board manages your retirement money! Pay Attention! Don’t throw away the ballot in your mail box! Vote by mail or online: www.ers.state.tx.us. (Voting closes July 13.) I, for one, prefer a West Texas chick skilled in tracking down criminals over someone who manages money for a dictator.

Never let anyone tell you that the federal government wastes money. After all, would you consider it a waste of $7.5 million to pay a Dayton, Ohio laboratory to develop a gay bomb? After all, Dayton is the gay capital of Montgomery County, Ohio. Go Gem City!

Back to the bomb: CBS says it would have been a "hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting," but the Air Force evidently rejected the idea. Which sucks, because I'd have loved to watch Bush or Gates talk about it.

And I'd love to take credit for the picture, but I stole it from HuffPo.

Dallas should probably just embrace being the heroin capital of America. It's so prevalent that there was something called "cheese" heroin sold for $2 to teens. I can think of a lot of things that are miserable about living in Dallas, so a need to get high just to live there isn't the shocker. The shocker is that we keep seeing this same story every few years. Twenty-one teenagers have died in the past two years from this drug. Parents, schoolteachers, preachers, city leaders, candlestick makers in Dallas---Talk to the kids about drugs. Show them pictures of dead teenagers and say, "This will happen to you if you do drugs."

Otherwise, maybe people should just move away from Dallas. That place is whack, yo.

The Senate voted 53-38 to move the resolution regarding Attorney General Gonzales forward yesterday. "They can have their votes of no-confidence, but it's not going to make the determination about who serves in my government," said Bush in retalliation.

"They," sir are the United States Senate.
"..my government," sir is incorrect. It may be your administration, but it is our government.

Maybe the next vote ought to be about the president.

Meet Stormy, the weather dog. The local CBS station finally found intelligence to put on the local news.

Seriously, if you were the mayor of Tyler wouldn't you try to pass a city ordinance against rampant stupidity? It'd be pointless, but at least the rest of the world would know you were trying.

EL PASO, Texas — A trio of National Guard soldiers assigned to help stop illegal immigration in South Texas instead ran an immigrant smuggling operation using cell phone text messages, according to court records filed Monday by the U.S. Attorney's Office in Laredo.

Governor Perry did not receive a 'finders fee' contrary to what you might think. However, we're sure some of the proceeds from the smuggling will wind up in his campaign fund!

Secretary of State Williams announced his resignation so he can run against the juggernaut that is KBH. Williams said he's got his track shoes and he's ready to run. Kay Bailey said "What he needs is a grasp on reality because I'll give up my seat when they pry my cold, dead ass out of here. Bitch is mine."

And so we gear up for yet another fun election season. Barbara Radnofsky had a simple statement not meant for the press. One word, "Dammit."

That is apparently what the lottery commission is after. The new $50 scratch off tickets are being sold in mostly--get ready--in the state's 10 poorest zip codes. Ta. Da! Additional insult to the people of a fourth grade reading level is Rep. Kino Flores statement that just because all the tickets are being sold in the poor areas doesn't mean they are being sold to poor people because rich people drive through these neighborhoods. He knows because he's seen it!!

I love a lottery, y'all. But a $50 ticket is a little over the top. Let's be subtle about this getting money from the poor. It's just unsavory to make it so blatant.