The white-tie dinner for Her Majesty is scheduled for Monday. I loved reading the story about the White House being all 'atwitter' with excitement and planning. They are scrubbing the windows, freshening up the paint and there are flowers everywhere! Can you imagine how nervous you would be if the Queen were coming over? What if the Queen were coming over and your husband was a big oaf and you were in a flop sweat the whole time afraid he might rub her shoulders or something? If I were Laura Bush I would so hopped up on Xanax I wouldn't even realize I'd lost my voice from lecturing George.

God I hope he doesn't embarrass the whole country by putting his elbows on the table or something.

The D.C. Madam continues to promise that she ain't going down alone. Promising to call clients to testify, one has already said he will testify that he indeed have sex with the escorts provided by her. She responded by saying that indeed her 'girls' complained about him and called him an 'unpleasant' man. What does it take for a hooker to call you unpleasant?

Geesh, that's embarrassing. I'd prefer for my hookers to give me a glowing review in the press...should my hookers ever be asked to tell the press anything that is.

This story will air tonight so check your local listings...I think it's on Cinemax.

Insert Benny Hill music here. Austin PD is all about the "sting" to catch men getting it on in the park. Some might think they have a fetish of sorts. The most recent sting resulted in them shooting at a suspect. My favorite is the timeline of events that is now under investigation.

5:30 a.m. Monday: Undercover operation begins at Walnut Creek Metropolitan Park.

6:30 a.m.: Officers see Travis James Casey, 36, enter woods at park; he exposes himself to an undercover officer and assaults him, police say. He flees, and officers give chase, police have said.

7:15 a.m.: Officers abandon search because of rain and leave park to have breakfast.

9 a.m.: Officers return to park and see Casey; shooting happens as police say Casey tries to run over officers in his car.

You seriously cannot make this kind of shit up.

The City of Austin announced they expect a $27 million budget shortfall. The growth of the city is outpacing the revenue from taxes. This happens to me every time I play Sim City! Here's what I do: Use a cheat code to build infrastructure for free. That saves a lot of money. Reduce the fire/police ratio. Add casino gambling and a military weapons disposal site for some revenue. Make deals with neighbors to sell your water and accept their garbage. If all else fails, you could just hit "start new game." What a real city does I have no earthly idea.

The voter ID bill will not come up for a vote. So says the 11 Dems in the Senate, including Gallegos. The Senator is back in Austin even though he is still recovering from a liver transplant so he can be a voting member that will prevent the bill from coming to the floor.

Senator Gallegos opposes the voter ID bill and his litmus test for legislation is one which many of the legislators should use. Gallegos said, "When a bill is introduced, I like to look at it and go, 'What's the purpose? Are you going to help my constituents?' "

From last night's Republican presidential primary debate.

By the way, did anyone - seriously, anyone - watch it? If so, let us know what we didn't miss in the comments.

Tomorrow's Local and Consent calendar in the House could set the tone for the rest of the session. With Republicans and Craddick Ds having a much better chance of having their bills moving, the rest of the chamber is getting pissed. On Texas Politics, Gary Scharrer is predicting the possibility of mutually assured destruction.

If that's the case, who's playing Matthew Broderick's character tomorrow? Patrick Rose kinda has that look. If that's the case, then Mary Denny is playing Godzilla, Craddick can be Ed Rooney (no real reason), and Sarah Jessica Parker is ... uhm, Mr. Ed.

This whiny liberal blog was brought to my attention today, Texas Liberal...indeed. Here's a post for me to have fun with. From Texas Liberal:

Texas Liberal dislikes all blog posts with obscenities in them. These bad words are never necessary. The purposes of a blog are, ideally, communication and to serve as a spur to thought.

An obscenity is not communication. Using obscenities is also is a hindrance to obtaining the political influence that much of the so-called Texas netroots apparently craves. So far, some Texas netroots’ bloggers lack both the discipline and the maturity to see this obvious fact. This is a way that bloggers are failing blog readers.

The Texas Legislature is working to suppress good taste throughout the state with a proposal to require all interior designers to be licensed and subject to 'criminal charges' if they are found to operate without a license. WTF?

I'm savvy enough to know that there is a difference between an interior decorator and an interior designer, but requiring a license is a bit much. Is this another case of the legislature trying to oppress the gays? Because you know, all gay men are either interior designers, wedding planners or hair stylists.

Bush isn't just "the decider" now - he recently referred to himself as "the Commander guy". Oh, our benighted "leader".

Former Rep. Ray Allen has proposed to his former Committee Clerk Lauren Thomas and she has accepted. The wedding is scheduled for this fall.

You may remember this comment from November 8, 2005:
He and the former Mrs. Allen divorced after session. Cleared the way for the mistress/staffer that broke up the 20+ year marriage.

Rick Perry racing a lawn mower. (Photo via Austin Chronicle)

South Texas farmers aren't happy with the plans for infamous border fence [HuffPo]. They thought that the fence would be "virtual" over the river area near Brownsville, but it seems that the plans include an honest-to-God fence to keep the immigrants out (while also keeping the farmers, wildlife and more from access to the river).

Some dumbass judge in Fort Worth told an African-American lawyer that black folk were better athletes because they survived the slave trade. Now, whether or not that is a racist comment, we don't know. However, it is an incredibly stupid comment to make in a courtroom. By a judge.

Judges are supposed to be smart, thoughtful, wise and restrained.

The Fort Bend ISD employed the latest intellectual superstar teacher that decided to appear on The Bachelor. When some parents complained that the teacher missed 22 days of work (including prep for the TAKS test) the school board disciplined the principal, but not the teacher.

The principal was demoted and re-assigned to another school. Seems to me they should have fired the teacher instead. If you had an employee with a big project due and they jetted off to appear on a FOX TV reality show and used up all their vacation time and ten days of unpaid leave, wouldn't you fire them, too?

Soft-core porn author and State Comptroller, Susan Combs says the new tax created by the Legislature could bring in between $500 and $900 million less than everyone says it will. Remember the good old days when Carole Keeton Strayhorn would do that at a press conference and everybody would go apeshit?

Combs declaration got two lines in the Statesman. She needs to ratchet it up a notch. [AAS]

Gov. Rick Perry said Monday that Texans who are legally licensed should be able to carry their concealed handguns anywhere, including churches, bars, courthouses and college campuses.

I thought we'd moved on from the "culture war" in political circles. I was wrong, Rep. Howard's proposal is another "in your face" to all you liberal, ACLU'ers out there. I think it is the most ignorant political issue of our time. No one wants to take away religion and persecute Christians because they love Jesus. I'm so over this issue. [Statesman]

If you are not the highest ranking official in any meeting, you are subject to being the scapegoat when it all falls to shit. (See George Tenet)

If you are the scapegoat, a tell-all book is step 1 on your road to redemption. Plus it just feels good. (See George Tenet)

[CNN]