You'll recall that during the fall election, former Rep. Rick "Haymaker" Green punched current Rep. Patrick Rose at a polling place in Dripping Springs.

Dude got off easy: a class C misdemeanor with a fine and deferred adjudication. So assuming he doesn't get in trouble for the next six months, the case will be dismissed. Which is plenty of time for him to find another Central Texas lawmaker to slug on the 2008 election day.

When we spend more time yelling at each other than having intelligent discourse, I'm done. When I have to rely on Geraldo friggin' Rivera to make sense, I'm done.

I'm terribly hungover and I can't find my pants. Entertain yourselves in the comments until I stop vomitting enough to read the news.

Unfortunately, legislators are not eligible. Staffers and interns that means you're still at risk! Deets in the permalink. (Statesman)

I know that PinkDome has limited the use of the term "douchebag" to Ben Bentzin, but I really think Sen. Dan Patrick is making a concerted effort to claim the retired moniker.

Yesterday, Imam Yusuf Kavakci of the Dallas Central Mosque became the first Muslim cleric to offer the daily invocation on the floor of the Senate. And this apparently made Sen. Patrick mad enough to stage his own little mini-protest by walking off the Senate floor before the prayer and refusing to return until much later. Sen. Shapiro, in whose district the Imam lives, responded by telling the Imam that his presence was appreciated by "28 of my colleagues on the Senate floor."

Patrick's reasoning?

"I surely believe that everyone should have the right to speak, but I didn't want my attendance on the floor to appear that I was endorsing that," said Patrick, a freshman Republican from Houston.

Patrick later gave a short speech on the Senate floor in which he called Kavakci's prayer an "extraordinary moment" that underscores that America is a nation "so tolerant of others we bend over backwards to allow others to pray as they wish."

He pointed out that other countries would not do the same for Christians and Jews, who are observing Easter and Passover this week.

And is this really part of his platform for statewide office? I mean, being the candidate that refuses to listen to prayers in another religion about the mercy of God is a great way to paint yourself. Of course, being the candidate with the Gary Busey teeth* doesn't help either.

^thanks, anon.

From a tipster:

Oliveira's amendment (floor amendment #4) to SB 482 is a "sell-out" amendment: Dunnam cut a deal to get a coal plant out of his district if he supported this amendment, which allows (but does not require) PUC to review rates if a major district is charging more than 2 cents over the
average. But the language is permissive, so it doesn't make the PUC do anything. They are
selling it as a rate reduction... which would be about 1 cent savings, if that. The deal is that
it does nothing, it has no teeth, for several reasons, including so that Cohen and Noriega can
vote for it and look like they've done something for utility rates. Because... both of them have
conflicts of interests with this stuff: Noriega works for Centerpoint, Cohen's daughter works for
a utility company and her daughter supports her financially.

Read this email from a woman that testified before the House State Affairs Committee recently.

I was at the legislative hearing until 4 in the morning. They only allowed 4 pro-choice speakers before midnight. It was like a pro-life dog and pony show. No time limits on speaking. No one needed to speak to a specific bill or issue. Hours and hours of testimony by women who truly believe abortion ruined their lives.

Read the rest in the permalink

A member of the Capitol Crowd? If not, why fool? Join up and network away and get invited to happy hour and shit. If you work in the Capitol, lobby or otherwise are responsible for cutting ordinary citizens out of the political process you, too, should be a member!

Troll Chisum is at it again with HB1287 requiring all public high schools to offer an elective course on the Holy Bible. First of all, don't get me wrong here..I love Jesus, y'all. However, I do not believe there are this many qualified individuals to teach a class on the Bible as an elective in the public schools system. The Holy Bible has influenced literature, art, culture, societal mores, laws and even hate and bigotry. It's very important to know its influence. But, from what I see most people can talk about how the Bible has influenced all that but have no idea exactly how, so they get frustrated and say if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior you're going to Hell.

Mmmm, you cannot do that shit in public schools.

A little birdie has told us that last week, some crazy shit was happening in the Office of the Speaker of the House. Rumor is one morning last week the head of the tax division for the Speaker's office came in to find a paper bag of human . . . um, poo, waiting for her on her desk.

The punny title possibilities for for this post seem endless. Any other suggestions?

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states do indeed have the right to sue the EPA in the event the state would be harmed by the excess global warming that would occur without EPA regulations. Basically, the Supreme Court said the EPA had to 'reconsider' not regulating CO2 emissions and their effect on global warming. The scientific community, the business community, state governments, religious leaders and the public at large are now in disagreement with the Bush Administration on global warming.

Oh, and by the way...it's global warming. A Republican strategist created the phrasing 'climate change' to make it sound less ominous.

Snoop wins in this clip from Dutch Television. Language NSFW!

HB 1750 and SB 875 require women and minors who get an abortion to give all kinds of personal information like "Who is paying for this abortion?" and "Did your daddy or uncle or brother diddle you?" and my personal favorite, "Who referred you to our clinic?"

If the patient gives incorrect information she can go to jail for up to one year...wait for it...so can the doctor! My answers would be "None of your damn business, perv!" And what if she says,"I'm not filling out this form!" can she still get an abortion? Since when is giving the name of which girlfriend gave you a clinic's name a requirement to getting an abortion! If the same person refers several young women to the same clinic can she qualify for discounts or bonus points of some kind?

Go ahead, put them in jail where they'll have their children at the expense of the state and be wards of the state..cause we all know what a bang up job they do with the kids!

News reports say Britain is taking a concillatory tone with Iran over the whole 'You got your peanut butter in my chocolate' thing going on over there. I say big deal. Say your sorry, moan and wring your hands with guilt that you went into their sacred waters. The whole time we know you're rolling your eyes and mouthing to us that these fuckers are crazy and you're just saying this to get your people out of danger. No one is judging you as weak because you do that. Everybody knows Iran takes hostages when their bipolar disorder kicks in, we get it. Let's move on. (CNN)