Happy New Year, everybody.

We didn't come up with any end of the year Best and Worst Lists or other such inventory close-out specials, but if you've got any things that you'll remember most about 2006 leave them in the comments for us to discuss.

2007 cannot get here fast enough for me!

Kaput.

I just got around to reading my copy of Texas Monthly, but if you haven't already I recommend picking up a copy. Mimi Swartz has an absolutely delicious piece on Dan Patrick that is a must read for anyone that wants to laugh at that no-talent ass-clown.

UT is considering taking down statues that celebrate "heroes of the Confederacy", I read on Austinist. Is it worth it to take down statues of Confederate generals on the UT grounds? Or are these statues part of the University's history?

Basically, I remain ambivalent about the issue. What do you think? Read the post and let us know.

Craddick spokesman and registered lobbyist Bill Miller's comments about the speaker's race:

"It's closed out. We're done. Our support is solid hard. The deal is over. They're in our pocket. There's no race anymore. People can run but they'll lose."

Puh-lease. The only thing around here that's solid hard is the collective boner being had by 75+ members who'll finally get a chance at voting their districts in 2007. Seriously, their hard-ons rival that of Mark Foley at recess.

It's the big night for all you amateurs this Sunday. For those of us that are professional partiers it's just another night. We'll start the weekend with a party at the University Club on Friday, a studio/gallery opening party on Saturday and a scandalous party on Sunday night. Where will you be? What are the fun things you'll be up to in your city? Why haven't you invited us?

Click here to watch the 4:00 press conference.

BB adds: For some reason, there's no audio. Perhaps because Mr. Pitts isn't speaking into a mic!

RawHide adds: He was speaking into a mic, but none of the mic's in the room were working. Craddick cut off the member's mics on the House floor, maybe he was just doing it again.

From what I understand of the conference, Pitts' isn't working with any other speaker candidate, and he believes he has the bipartisan support to be elected. He didn't release any names.

Jim Pitts is having a press conference in the Appropriations room at 4 if anyone near the Capitol feels so inclined to stop by.

BOR has made an Excel of the two lists of Craddick supporters that QR has posted. Check out the erosion of support.

Burka says that 16 of those Craddick supporters are actually pledged to McCall. He also says that Craddick is offering up Nancy Fisher (his Chief of Staff) as his sacrificial lamb - he'd be willing to can her if he gets reelected speaker.

Kudos to Senfronia Thompson for being the first to publicly stand up to Craddick and announce her challenge. With McCall and Pitts in the race now it's looking like there is an actual chance at having real leadership in the House. There's a chance that people outside of Midland will actually have a voice in the coming session.

Contrary to Jason Embry's esteemed opinion from November, it appears that the effort to find a new speaker is no longer a "longshot at best".

The Chron has a story up in which House Appropriations chairman Jim Pitts has announced that he too is in the race for speaker. Craddick released a list of 84 names that are supposedly pledged to him, but, as with most things Craddick says, it's bullshit.

So here's where we are thus far: McCall says he has 73 names and that Craddick has 72 names. Craddick says that he has 84 names and a magical unicorn. Senfronia and Talton have thrown their support to McCall. Pitts is now in. Some more seasoned R's like Kuempel are suspiciously missing from Craddick's list.

A couple notes - McCall was hit pretty hard a couple cycles ago by Leininger and survived. Pitts refused to accept a contribution from Jim Leininger during this cycle. There are a few Parent PAC names on Craddick's "list".

The race is on, and the message is simple. With this many candidates in the running, every member should vote for someone who will allow them to fairly represent their districts. We'll keep you updated as best we can.

As we saw in An Inconvenient Truth, global warming is a real issue, and current news items show that the unfortunate future is closer than we would like. I'm sure Jim Inhofe still thinks that the media is making it all up.

But seeing this video wherein incoming Environment and Public Works Committee Chair Sen. Barbara Boxer goes over her plan for the committee's work in 2007 leaves me with an optimistic feeling. She states that the environment is a bipartisan issue. She refers to our current national record on global warming as "disastrous" and says that hearings on global warming will begin in January. . . and that's a start.

[Grist]

Per QR, Robert Talton, king of the sneer, has publicly announced his support for McCall as speaker. Talton is the first Republican committee chair to publicly support McCall over Craddick. He's also the first cockface to make that choice, as far as I know.

How will this play out come January 9th? Be there for the fisticuffs!

Media Matters, in its endless quest to both correct and ridicule conservative misinformation, has compiled a list of 2006's most cringe-inducing statements. Click here to read all of them - here are a few samples:

William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights: "Well, look, there are people in Hollywood, not all of them, but there are some people who are nothing more than harlots. They will do anything for the buck. They wouldn't care. If you asked them to sodomize their own mother in a movie, they would do so, and they would do it with a smile on their face." [2/9/06]

Fox News host John Gibson: "Do your duty. Make more babies. That's a lesson drawn out of two interesting stories over the last couple of days. First, a story yesterday that half of the kids in this country under five years old are minorities. By far, the greatest number are Hispanic. You know what that means? Twenty-five years and the majority of the population is Hispanic. Why is that? Well, Hispanics are having more kids than others. Notably, the ones Hispanics call 'gabachos' -- white people -- are having fewer." [5/11/06]

Anne Coulter responding to Hardball host Chris Matthews' question, "How do you know that [former President] Bill Clinton's gay?": "I don't know if he's gay. But [former Vice President] Al Gore -- total fag." [7/27/06]

CNN Headline News host Glenn Beck to Rep.-elect Keith Ellison (D-MN): "OK. No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. ... With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, 'Let's cut and run.' And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.' " [11/14/06]

Since the man's going to be executed before January 27, what are his final wishes?

Soon to be pasted all around the Capitol:

I'd be remiss not to point out a new Texas political blog that recently sprung up, Billy Clyde's Political Hot Tub Party. As a sample, I'll point out a few excerpts from a conversation Billy Clyde arranged between all of the Harris County Senators:

Senator Mario Gallegos: Christmas is a special time in our family.

Senator John Whitmire: (snicker) Which family? (snicker)

Gallegos: (sigh) My mother, who was on the school board and has a campus named after her, made tamales for the whole neighborhood. She didn't sell the tamales at Christmastime, she gave ...

Senator Dan Patrick: Mexican!

Billy Clyde: It's the Christmas season. Let's try to keep it civil. Mike?

Senator Mike Jackson: What was the question? I thought we were just grabbing lunch before our tee time.

Whitmire: My clubs are in the trunk. I'm in.

Dan Patrick has officially made it big time - international, even: The Economist ran an article on him in their December 16th-22nd edition.

You can read the whole thing online, although I'm sure everyone will want to spend the $4.99 to get a copy for him to autograph come January 9.

Former President Gerald Ford died today at the age of 93. He lived to be the longest living President, and so far is the only unelected President to serve.

[AP on Yahoo!]

The U.S. military continues to miss recruiting goals and current forces are under an enormous strain. As soldiers are deployed over and over to 'combat theatre' the Pentagon is thinking outside the box to increase the size of the force.

President Bush is calling for more military presence while the recruiting continues to dwindle. One brilliant idea is to open recruiting offices in foreign countries. "Hey, we know you aren't American and maybe can't speak English and we don't want you to actually live in our country...but, we sure could use your help in fighting a war nobody in our country wants to fight." Maybe I wouldn't be the best person to write the marketing brochure. That's something I'm not sure I could sell.

Another idea is to fastrack immigrant citizenship applications if the applicant will enlist. Too bad we're trying to send all those illegals back...we could send them to Iraq. One thing that keeps not coming up is the reinstatement of the draft. Another thing that isn't coming up is perhaps getting the hell out of there. Sometimes the most noble and right thing to do is walk away. "Hey, sorry we fucked up your country and left you with a civil war and all...but we've really got to be at this event. You don't mind if we leave early, do you? Thanks...catch you next time! Good luck!"

It's on [BurkaBlog]. Y'all know if I had Photoshop skillz I would totally put together a Craddick Godzilla v. McCall Mothra doohickey for you. But as I have neither the program nor the know-how to use it, you will just have to imagine the image in your head.

+ Tyler is tired of those damned illeagals. [Tyler Morning Telegraph]

+ If you really want to change your GPA at Texas Christian, it might be wise to take some extra courses - not try to hire two hackers to do it. Especially if you're the communications director for a GOP Congressman. Be sure to read the complete email correspondence. [TPM]

+ Looks like SMU will get the "privilege" of hosting Bush's presidential li-berry. [FWST]

+ Not sure how to hide your pot from that pesky drug dog? Just ask an [ex]-cop! [DMN]

As I head back east for the holiday I saw this oldie but a goodie. Happy holidays, y'all!

I love to push buttons. It's much easier to do with Austin liberals than with anybody else I know. Tonight at dinner I upset quite a few with my declaration that should tear down Las Manitas or whatever it is and build a Marriott. You would think I had suggested that we eat their first born child. Later, they discussed what it meant to the community. My response? Well, maybe they can all find jobs at the Marriott!

Another way to get liberals fired up? Dismiss everything they say with "But, they're poor so it doesn't matter." Then, all you have to do is sit back and watch. It's great fun. Try it this holiday with your own family. I guarantee it will get you out of many conversations you'd rather not have anyway.

Mark Strama filed legislation today that would let anyone with a pressing medical condition use employee-only restrooms. The article talks about a 10-year old girl, Catherine Wicker, who has ulcerative colitis, a disease that causes severe cramping and diarrhea. Turns out Catherine - and likely many, many others in similar situations - has been repeatedly denied access to the privileged inner sanctums of employee-only restrooms, despite offering proof of her medical condition.

Now I'm not going to make fun of Catherine or anyone in her situation. It takes an enormous amount of courage for a 10-year old to talk publicly about the debilitating effects of ulcerative colitis. And as Jeff Neale, spokesman for the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America, says, "As we all know, when you've got diarrhea, often you need a bathroom urgently. Now, imagine having diarrhea for weeks, months or even years at a time. If you can't get access to bathrooms out in your community, you can't leave your house." A store manager that would deny bathroom access to a sick 10-year old needs to get kicked in the balls or ovaries, whichever applies.

What I am going to comment on, however, is a bit later in the article:

Maryland has had a law requiring restroom access for more than 20 years. Illinois lawmakers passed "Ally's law" last year, authorizing a $100 fine on stores that refuse restroom access. The change was named after a teenager with Crohn's disease who soiled herself after being denied a restroom visit.

So everyone raise a celebratory toast tonight to brave kiddos like Catherine and Ally. But in honor of them, make sure it's something lactose- and gluten-free. And you should probably take an Immodium with it, too.

The Christmas Card from John Edwards arrived via email (which is a tacky way to send a Christmas greeting, btw). Wishing me a happy holiday, the Edwards family thoughtfully included a picture of their daughter in a skirt that is entirely too short for a family portrait.

Perfect for the politician or corporate executive on your list, a personal shredder! Since these have come down in price, there is no excuse not have your very own. Why rely on staff to shred your evidence important documents when you can do it yourself in the comfort of your own home!

Not only are the Messicans taking over our country by filling our schools, giving birth in our hospitals, and seducing our women with their delicious fajitas and invitations to Margaritaville, but a new brown threat is looming over the horizon.

I'll let Virginia's Rep. Virgil Goode explain in a letter he sent out to some supporters, all of whom, I'm guessing, would be willing to hang out with George Allen:

Thank you for your recent communication. When I raise my hand to take the oath on Swearing In Day, I will have the Bible in my other hand. I do not subscribe to using the Koran in any way. The Muslim Representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran. We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration and end the diversity visas policy pushed hard by President Clinton and allowing many persons from the Middle East to come to this country. I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped.

The Ten Commandments and "In God We Trust" are on the wall in my office. A Muslim student came by the office and asked why I did not have anything on my wall about the Koran. My response was clear, "As long as I have the honor of representing the citizens of the 5th District of Virginia in the United States House of Representatives, The Koran is not going to be on the wall of my office." Thank you again for your email and thoughts.

It sounds so dirty!

State officials altered records, pressured witnesses and delayed an investigation into whether the state health department improperly used lobbyists to push legislation in 2005, according to a state investigative report.

During the audit and investigation the Mental Health Association created their new mission statement:

"It's not about consumers; it's not about quality services," Halligan said. "It's about keeping the money. And they will step on me and you and anyone else to keep it."

(See our previous post.)

Travis County District judge Margaret Cooper has told Craddick that he has to provide a portion of his 2003 (January to June) calendar to the court by mid-January 2007. Will his work with DeLay and TRMPAC be on there? Things aren't looking too promising for Craddick in 2007 so far.

[Austin Chronicle]

Jossip watches Fox News so we don't have to. It seems a Fox News reporter considers the two still-lost mountain climbers pretty much. . . well, you know. It rhymes with "lucked".

That's the question Sen. Shapiro hopes to hear ringing across the state during the upcoming session.

Because they can't get vouchers passed any other way, Shapiro is proposing a smaller school choice program that will only apply to autistic children. That'll be a fun vote to try and explain away should it actually reach the floor. In opposition, Richard Kouri of TSTA takes the role of Ebeneezer Scrooge:

Voucher supporters and opponents both agree that any move to allow vouchers for one disability or disease could open the door to other groups to push for similar options.

"Public tax dollars should go to fund public schools, not private schools," said Richard Kouri, a spokesman for the Texas State Teachers Association. "Our belief is that once you start moving public tax dollars to private schools, whatever the initial reason, future arguments become arguments around expanding that existing program."

Irony: the man who helped draft the open records laws is suing because his client doesn't like how Eanes school district responds to open records requests. Two Eanes parents, Susan Bushart and Dianna Pharr, have filed hundreds of requests since 2003. The Lake Travis school district was once plagued with 238 requests in a 24-hour period. The district estimates it has spent $500,000 responding to these requests. So Thomas Ratliff, son of the former Lt. Gov., did what any good American would do: sue the school district for complying with the law.

Here's the money sentence: "Much of the information is posted on KeepEanesInformed.com, which Pharr said she owns and maintains as a public service." Seriously. This woman is a.) super-pumped her site got a mention in the Statesman and b.) Needs to get a clear message: Nobody gives a fuck about Eanes. You aren't informing anyone...you're annoying many, though. [AAS]

This is what happens when you let ordinary people get involved. If we were going to waste our time filing endless open records requests, we'd be after Dewhurst's credit card bills. We are dying to know how much he pays going out on all those late night dates.

Lamda Legal has filed a lawsuit on behalf of a transgendered woman in Houston. Apparently, the transgendered woman applied for a job with River Oaks Imaging. She passed a drug screen and background check and was offered a job. Then, human resources called her and rescinded the job offer saying that the reason was she "misrepresented herself as a woman."

Hilarity ensues.

You legal folks can weigh in on this one. If the employer is an EEOC employer and, although the applicant was qualified and offered the job, discriminated against this person, does that fall under the EEOC umbrella? God, didn't these people see TransAmerica? Poor Lynette from Desperate Housewives had to go through so much! [Pam's House Blend]

[AP]

Leininger: for vouchers before he was against them. At least according to the Statesman's crack team of headline writers.

[via McBlogger]

A new web site, Appeal for Redress, is encouraging veterans and active duty military to appeal to their Congressional Representative and US Senators to urge an end to the U.S. military occupation. Much like Festivus, this airing of grievances is to continue an attempt to hold people accountable for bad decisions.

Unfortunately, since Rummy is gone the 'passing of the buck' is surely a formal policy at the DoD from now on.

It's crunch time for gift-giving and we've still got a few must-haves for you to consider.

As we approach yet another legislative session, a new suit is in order. We don't endorse outrageously expensive trendy suits found at Nordstrom of Neiman's, instead we go straight for the time honored classic of the Brooks Brothers Fitzgerald. Since 1818, Brooks Brothers has been the standard-bearer in well dressed men's suits. For your money you cannot find a better suit. Your favorite man is sure to exude authority and respect in the dome this session with a suit like that!

The DMN continues beating the dead horse on legislators use of campaign funds. The Texas Ethics Commission doesn't seem to care, so why should we? Texas legislators may earn around $25,000 during a year in which the legislature is in session, $7,200 when it's not. By raising campaign funds to use for renting a car, renting an apartment and travelling from home to the dome they are saving taxpayer money. We don't have to raise legislative salaries and those that can afford to buy a representative can give it their best shot.

We're busy thinking on what we'd spend campaign funds on besides rent and utilities. We can guarantee you it wouldn't be to give to other candidates. If you're such a loser you can't raise your own money don't come crying to us about it. The legislators that dole out their campaign cash to help out the party are saps.

There have always been areas where I am politically conservative. Unfortunately, there is no political party for people like me. After reading a story in the NY Times this morning, there is one more area to add to my list of conservate leanings. High school principals are cancelling dances because students dance like the hoochies on music videos. The simulation of sex acts, grinding into each other, and 'dropping it low' are making chaperones faint across the land.

I tried to get to a point where I could argue freedom of expression, or that people were in an uproar over the "Twist" back in Chubby Checker's day or that it was harmless. Unfortunately, I cannot get there. It is not freedom of expression, it's highly inappropriate. It's not comparable to the "Twist" because in dancing the "Twist" you don't bend over and grind your ass into a teenager's crotch. It's not harmless, either. Kids get groped and get the message that bending over to take it doggy style or being seen as nothing but a sexual object is an honorable pursuit...instead of say, developing a sense of right and wrong and behavior that's appropriate for public and not appropriate for public consumption.

That being said, I'll be called hypocritical if any of you have ever danced with me while I had my hand down your pants. I'm an adult, hopefully you were an adult, too. There are things we do that are appropriate for adults that are not appropriate for children. Fifteen year olds are children, in case you forgot.

The other area where I'm conservative? Taxes. If you fuckers take one more cent of my paycheck for the horrible service you provide I'm gonna smack you. Thirty-three percent? For the amount of money I pay in taxes every year, I expect 'full-release' the next time I meet an I.R.S. agent...or the President.

The AP is reporting that John Edwards will announce his candidacy for the 2008 presidential race. Here's to hoping it ends up better than last time.

CNN had a story recently about Vidor's racist past. When the reporter talked to this enormously huge fat woman (eating, because what else would she be doing?) She said that she didn't mind black people, but "mingling with them" or "eating with them" was where she drew the line. Typically, the town was in an uproar over the story. They went back to talk to some more enormously fat people that said Vidor is not racist.

We don't know if Vidor is a racist town or not, we don't even know where Vidor is. But, what we do know from the CNN story is that this town has a lot bigger fish to fry than racism. It's got the ugliest and fattest people we've ever seen on TV. We aren't talking slightly overweight here, we're talking "Oh. My. God. How do they fit in a car?" obesity.

UPDATE: A reader emailed me the link to the YouTube. You have to see it.

President Bush and his twisted logic continue to astound me. In 2005, George said that he believes children should be raised by a man and a woman in addition to supporting a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages. He strongly believes this to shore up support amongst ignorant bigots and self-hating, closeted Republicans. He means it except when it comes to hiring staff or some lesbo daughter of someone he knows gets pregnant.

George--when you advocate a position as rigid as you do, you can't apply it to everyone except people you know. Doesn't work. Why the media allows you to get away with this shows the complete lack of balls in those that put pen to paper.

Same thing with that terrorist, James Dobson. He spouts off hate speech against homosexuality and then says, "Gee...I don't mean to offend Mary Cheney."

Just so people won't accuse me of being vague, I'll make it very clear. They can all go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

By now you've heard of the ongoing court fights regarding the disclosure of Speaker Tom Craddick's calendar from the 78th Legislative session. The Observer has a great article that sums up most of the stuff you already know, but they've obtained a copy of one day in Craddick's calendar that shows him meeting with the guy who gave him a $100,000 check for TRMPAC. We here at PinkDome have also obtained a copy of Speaker Craddick's calendar from the 2003 session. Insert righteous indignation here.

Senator John McCain hates blogs. He's proposed legislation that would fine personal blogs out of existence, even if the offense was because you people left a comment. Is it still ok if we say we don't like John McCain? We don't like him because we once respected him and then he jumped up George Bush and Jerry Falwell's ass and we lost all respect for him. It was the first time we had to think of him as, you know, a politician. Ew.

The January issue of Texas Monthly reminds us of the best political joke of the year. View image

- Some faculty/staff/students at SMU don't want no stinkin' G. W. Bush Prezidential Liberry. [BurkaBlog]

- At least climate change is good for somebody.

- The new secretary-general of the UN was sworn in today. The South Korean vowed to work "as a harmonizer and bridge-builder." [AP on Yahoo!]

- If Santorum doesn't decide to be a Faux News talking head, he may found a bank. Um, okay. . . [The Swamp]

Political cartoonist Matt Bors takes on the people who have issue with the first Muslim congressman in this comic today. Pointed, funny and recommended reading.

Sending well wishes to South Dakota Senator Johnson and his family. It annoys me that while his family is dealing with his surgery and the results, the media is discussing the ramifications for the Senate . . . but let's be honest, there most likely will be ramifications.

Y'all know that John Edwards is going to try for the Presidency again, don't you? Because he totally is.

No, I haven't heard from his campaign officially, but let's just say, the word is in the air a little birdie told me I eavesdropped on someone else's conversation.

John Edwards' One America Committee

Anti-tax activist Grover Norquist said last week that "envoys" for Sen. John McCain (R) have reached out to him several times in the past year to reach a detente in advance of the Arizonan's likely presidential campaign - an assertion labeled "delusional" by McCain's top political adviser.

"I think he's just lonely with Jack Abramoff gone to prison," said John Weaver, McCain's top political adviser, noting the longtime friendship of Norquist and the disgraced lobbyist. "I think he’s probably just sad and lonely and delusional."

It's so delicious. We love it when politicians cannot contain their loathing for each other. [Roll Call]

A tipster forwarded us an email sent to the staff and students of UTD (UT Dallas if you don't know) admitting that a security breach had possible uncovered personal information such as names and social security numbers. They have now narrowed it down to employees of the school who worked there between 1999 and 2005. A sizeable number, I imagine. Can't wait to see what legislation such intrusion will inspire. If our silly posts can lead to possible legislation, than surely this is worthy of some attempt.

World Net Daily actually published an editorial by Jim Rutz, chairman of Megashift Ministries that claims soy causes homosexuality. That's right, all you vegetarian hippies in your Birkenstocks...you are total fags. We would have thought those folks that like to eat meat would be the big homos, but guess we were misguided.

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.

P.S.: Soy sauce is fine. Unlike soy milk, it's perfectly safe because it's fermented, which changes its molecular structure. Miso, natto and tempeh are also OK, but avoid tofu.