Secretary of State Roger "No Money Down!" Williams recently named University of Texas baseball coach Augie Garrido as the state's spokesman for VOTEXAS, the state's voter education program - not what Hubert Vo calls the 149th District.
Problem? Garrido has never voted in Texas. He came to Texas 10 years ago from California, registered to vote, but just hasn't made it out to the voting booth. I mean, it takes like effort and shit.
I'd like to congratulate Williams on an excellent choice. I intend to never vote again, thus apparently increasing my chances of winning national championships in something.
Along those same lines, I've also received, through a source, word of the following appointments which are soon to be announced:
Kinky Freedman for Governor
"He represents so much about Texas, and he is a great Texas icon," Mr. Williams said.
Because he won a few freakin' baseball games he is now an icon? Did he do anything beneficial to society in general?
Speaker Craddick in the lecture series of "How to
Win Friends and Influence People"
Van Taylor
Spokesperson for ass kissers everywhere.
I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen, but I don't care. Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
I just don't have much to say these days, but so it goes. Today was a total loss. I guess it doesn't bother me.
Governor Perry to serve as spokesman for Hair Club for Men