A lot of people have been making fun of the fact that Carole Keeton Strayhorn actually has about seventeen last names. Carole Keeton McClellan Rylander Smith Smythe Taylor Strayhorn IV.
So Strayhorn's campaign recently announced that she intends to appear on the November ballot as Carole "Grandma" Strayhorn. Why? Because the polls tell her it's necessary, giving her a 10 point bump whenever she's referred to as "One Tough Grandma."
According to the article, state law allows the use of a nickname on the ballot if it is a name by which the candidate has been "commonly known for at least three years preceding the election." While Strayhorn has been campaigning as "One Tough Grandma" since '98, there's no way that equates with her being commonly known as Grandma. Sorry, but the only person I know as Grandma is - wow - my Grandma, and she could give two shits about who's elected as Governor. But this won't phase Strayhorn, of course:
"The law doesn't allow you to use a political slogan. So we weren't going to try that," said Strayhorn's campaign manager and son, Brad McClellan. "More people know her as 'grandma' than Strayhorn."For the sake of argument, let's just assume that McClellan isn't as full of as much shit as his brother is and that he's correct about it not being a political slogan. Seriously, pretend really hard. What would the ballot look like for the rest of the candidates?
Offer your suggestions in the comments.
niiice :)
Rick "Mofo" Perry
Chris "Whodat" Bell
Carole "turncoat" Strayhorn
Richard "Kinky cigar" Lewinsky, er, Freidman
Prick Perry
Chris "I screwed DeLay real bad" Bell
Carol "More man than the others" Strayhorn
Kinky Dick Freidman
I wouldn't care if she called herself "Tough Tits", she's the only thing close to a real option in this election. She needs my vote, and she's gonna get it.
Anyone who has fallen for Carole's bullshit is indeed in need of a timeshare contract in Cancun. She's all air. If we marry her we'll want a divorce and for her to change her name one more time. Anyone worried about what people think about them can use her as an example to get over it. I.E. If that bitch can run for Governor, I can at least apply for that better job. Everyone knows she's crazy. That's it. That's her value.
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Rick "Goodhair" Perry
Chris "My Hair's Not Too Bad" Bell
Carole "Hairspray" Staryhorn
Kinky "Hathair (Goddammit!)" Friedman