Hence the two Caption This Pictures. Obviously, we are already preparing for a long weekend to celebrate America's independence. I bought three flags to burn on Tuesday and one copy of the Constitution plus one copy of the Dixie Chicks CD just to round out a nice roaring fire.

[WaPo]

Photo cred AP.

I love the Internet. Here's why.Some genius took Bush's speeches and made them into the greatest version of U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday I've ever heard.

As a follow-up to my previous post, looks like Rush is embracing his love of boners:

Rush Limbaugh Announced as New Viagra Spokesman

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- NEW YORK -- June 29, 2006 -- Pfizer Inc. today announced conservative talk radio commentator Rush Limbaugh has been signed as the new spokesman for the company's erectile dysfunction drug, Viagra (sildenafil citrate). Limbaugh went public with his use of the medication following a security incident June 26 at the Palm Beach International Airport.

Limbaugh has long been a known supporter of the pharmaceutical industry. "We feel very fortunate to have Rush on board," said a Pfizer spokesperson. "I don't know why Purdue didn't snatch him up years ago." Purdue Pharmaceuticals manufactures the painkiller OxyContin.
...
Limbaugh went on to extol the drug's efficacy. "I think everyone's aware of how I feel about Hillary. Now, I'm not saying I would ever go there, but let's say I'd be ready for the job. Give me an intern and I'd run circles around Bill Clinton." The radio show host reassured fans that his new role as Viagra spokesman won't cut into his on-air duties. "I'll continue to expose limp Liberal fallacies on all fronts," he said.

Pfizer is hoping the Limbaugh "dittohead" following will give a boost to sales. "His listeners will buy into anything he says, so we're hoping that transfers into them buying our product. With a doctor's prescription, of course."

What would happen if the Gap's 'secret shoppers' descended on the Capitol? Find out.

The University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio is cancelling its subscription to the NYTimes because of the political brouhaha around that story on the government and financial institutions. Apparently the way to send a message to the stinky Times over their "irresponsible action (treason?)" is to make it so that no student on your campus can read it. Or perhaps we're paraphrasing the Dean of Library Science.

Because censorship will make all the bad news go away!

That song must be Bush's mantra or something. Even though the Supreme Court has basically rejected his anti-terror policy as far as war crime tribunals go, Bush is just determined. The guy who never says "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong" to ANYONE (it seems) thinks that Congress will help him out. Because everybody wants to be on the losing team's side, right? Yeah, if I'm running for re-election, I really want to affiliate myself with one of the lowest-rated Presidents in history.

But maybe Orrin Hatch can put aside what he views as the most important national issue at this time (flag burning, duh) and help a Republican brutha out.

Everybody loves a good smackdown. The Internets are ablaze with the MSNBC hilarity between to radio hosts discussing the NYTimes story. The 'DJ' from Houston got his panties in a twist and stormed out of the studio. It's funny to watch because it's the thing I've noticed about rabid Republicans for a long time. The only thing they know about politics is straight from the talking points memo. If you try to get a rational thought, a passion, or clear logical reasoning they go ballistic and claim you hate America. The video at Crooks and Liars is the perfect example. But, come on...politics is not professional wrestling. Politics and policy and things like national security discussions are conversations for serious people with serious ideas. Educate me, don't yell at me. Besides, there is no one that wants to tangle with me in a war of name-calling because I will totally kick your ass and be home drinking champagne and calling a hooker before your wrecked self-esteem even starts to recover.

Oh, and if you want to see 'real reporting' on the subject of the NYTimes disclosure of the financial tracking stuff? Check out Keith Olbermann's version of a smackdown.

"Secularists are wrong when they ask believers to leave their religion at the door before entering the public square." [CNN] We talk about this a lot on PinkDome. While I have strong Christian beliefs, I strongly believe in the separation of Church and State. There is a fine line in letting your Christian values lead you in decisions and forcing your Christian beliefs as the rule of law. There is more opportunity for common ground in positions of moderation than in extremism. We must work together to do what's best for all of America, not political pranks to pander to one voter base.

Check out the Respect Our Faith pledge, a movement by Texas clergy. Today the Texas Clergy will deliver a message at University United Methodist Church, 2409 Guadalupe in Austin (second floor, outside the sanctuary) to speak out against the politicization of religion.

Birthdays! Rep. Norma Chavez celebrates today, or so we heard. A 2005 honoree of the PinkDome Fashion Disaster Awards, Rep. Chavez has not been seen on the worst-dressed list since. (We're here to help!)

Rep. Norma Chavez has served the El Paso area since 1997. Chávez has authored 37 bills that the Legislature passed in the five legislative sessions she has served House District 76. Chávez has also been a Joint-Author on 54 pieces of passing legislation, and a Co-Author on 47 passing bills. Additionally, she has sponsored 16 successful Senate-authored bills and she has been a Joint or Co-Sponsor on 19 successful Senate-authored pieces of Legislation. Chávez has also authored 69 amendments that were adopted, and she has passed more than 500 congratulatory, memorial, and recognition resolutions in her nearly 10 years of service to the citizens of El Paso.

Howard Dean, you know, the chairman of the Democratic National Committee? The one so many "Deaniacs" thought was going to re-energize the party and lead it into the 21st Century? Kicking butt and taking names? Yeah, that one. Turns out he's a total limp dick. Every time I see him on TV I cringe, wondering what he'll say next. He never lets me down.

His latest visionary statement:

We're about to enter the '60s again.[...]

The problem is when we hit that '60s spot again, which I am optimistic we're about to hit, we have to make sure that we don't make the same mistakes.

Rush Limbaugh's folks get credit for the photoshop.

As you may or may not have read, Star Jones has left ABC's The View earlier than anticipated. This unanticipated timing brings us to good news for all of us at PinkDome. Star Jones will be joining PinkDome's team to bring you the best in political and legal coverage of national politics. Welcome Star Jones as a contributing poster on PinkDome. We hope to add more celebrity posters as they are fired from cushy network jobs. Next 'get'? We've got our eyes on Dan Rather!

Well, d'uh. We knew that already.

The Supreme Court ruling on the Texas redistricting case was released this morning.

The Court rejected the D's gerrymandering claims, as well as their arguments that mid-decade redistricting was unconstitutional. It did rule, however, that Congressional District 24 (in Irving) 23 (a good chunk of west Texas, currently represented by Henry Bonilla-R) was invalid under the Voting Rights Act.

AP story

Anybody smell a Special?

One vote. The Senate rejected a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning. The ban was on the checklist of the Republicans to energize their base coming into the mid-term election cycle.

Burning the flag is offensive, I think we all agree on that fact. But, to me, infringing on free speech is just as offensive. Yes, I put burning the flag in that category. As offensive as it is, where is the rampant burning of American flags that require us to amend the constitution?

I'd like to propose a constitutional amendment banning using the constitution to fire up your political base.

This certainly qualifies as another winning headline today: Transvestite gang pesters Magazine Street.

But this is hands-down the winning sentence of the day:

The transvestites first appeared in March when they raided Magazine Street like a marauding army of kleptomaniacal showgirls, said Davis, using clockwork precision and brute force to satisfy high-end boutique needs.

Oh, New Orleans. It warms my heart to know that the crossdressing kleptos haven't abandoned you.

Funny, I always thought Episcopalians would be more of a 'rythym method' kind of lover.

If you were an organized religion what method of birth-control would best describe you?
Baptist--Screaming Chastity, practicing sex with farm animals.
Methodist--Vasectomy
Catholic--Anal penetration only
Lutheran--(HA! Lutherans don't have sex)
Presbyterian--Condoms
Jewish--Fellatio only. (HA!)

A new study reports that Texas is a pathetic, third-world, poverty-stricken state. Shocked? So were we. I mean,Governor Perry is so proud of Texas we were wondering how he could be proud that

This reminds me of the single most offensive joke I've ever heard in my life. Click the permalink if you think you've got the stomach for it.

Rush Limbaugh got caught with prescription drugs that he's not supposed to have. Again. It turns out this time the drugs were just boner pills, so unless he was crushing 'em up and snorting or smoking 'em, he's just an idiot - not a high idiot (the hypocrisy of which is a lot more to fun to point out).

But it is nice to know that the jackass will now be associated with anal cysts and erectile disfunction. Oh joy!

The planned launch of space shuttle Discovery is becoming controversial and the firing of an employee that expressed safety concerns is an example of how politics expands outside of what we talk about here every day into the 'real world'. Martha at Musings has the inside scoop on the firing.

I stumbled across the 'Working America's' Bad Boss Contest the other day. This story reminded me to tell y'all to go enter. Especially those of you that work for you-know-who. You could win a vacation and come back all refreshed to look for a new job!

Funny what a lot of bad press will do to an elected officials position on, well, anything.

Remember how Rep. John Carter (R-TX) and other Texas Rs stalled the reauthorization of the Voting Rights Act, despite support from R leadership and the White House? Remember how Carter was quoted as saying, "I don't think we have racial bias in Texas anymore" ... and ... "I simply believe you should be able to read, write and speak English to be a voter in the United States," which obviously pissed off people because requiring literacy tests to vote is fucking unconstitutional.

Well, it turns out Carter said none of that! Or, if he indeed did say it, it's not what he meant to say! Or something - whatever you'll swallow.

Per Quorum Report, Carter's only reservation with the VRA is that Congress should wait to act until the Supremes rule on Texas redistricting. Ahh, I can totally see how his initial quotes square with that. From QR:

Ellsworth reiterated that Carter had no other issues with the VRA. In a broad philosophical sense, he believes that voters should be comfortable reading, writing and speaking English because that was the best way to get all the information about candidates and issues. She said, however, Carter never meant to leave the impression that fluency or literacy should be a condition for voting.

She also said Carter does not believe racial bias no longer exists in Texas. However, compared to 1964 when the bill was originally passed, conditions in Texas are dramatically improved.

Finally, Ellsworth said that Carter did not oppose Department of Justice pre-clearance but believed that possible discrimination was not limited to the nine states currently in the VRA. She said he believed that all the states should be subject to DOJ review and pre-clearance.

It's Monday morning and I've already found someone with enough stupid to last me through the week. I present to you Don Goldwater, nephew of Barry Goldwater. Don's running for governor out in Arizona, and he's come up with an innovative way to build a wall on the border AND stop immigrants in America from running rampant through our streets, mowing our lawns, fixing our food and raising our kids. At an anti-immigration rally in April he was quoted as saying:

"Build us that wall now!"...referring to a proposal to add 700 miles of fences along the U.S.-Mexico border. He promised then that if elected, he would put illegal immigrants in a tent city on the border and use their labor to build the wall.

Internment camps for Mexicans? That's fucking brilliant!

I'll go ahead and join in the growing number of people saying how the Supreme Court could rule pretty soon on the Texas redistricting case.

Seeing how there's 5 more days until July, I think it could happen that it would be safe to say that there's a chance that there might be a ruling pretty soon. Maybe even today, I don't know (see how I say something that everybody knows already but pass it off like it's new and exciting insight? Thanks MSM for teaching me how to sound totally smart, or at least how to think I sound totally smart).

Anyways, the Supreme Court could throw out the Delay map, throw out chunks of it, send it to a lower court, or do any number of things. Really I have no idea, but if they throw out the maps, I got dibs on one of the old seats. It's about time I took my smart sounding self to Washington.

The 2006 Miss Texas USA was crowned last night. Magen Ellis of Houston was crowned at the event in Laredo. Magen's platform for this year includes awareness and education about childhood obesity and screenings for ovarian cancer.

I have no idea what my platform for this year is going to be. Maby I'll have some more coffee and figure it out. Your suggestions welcome in the comments. (And BTW, WTF is up with Rawhide? No posts forever and then he vomits posts all over the place this morning!)

Pic from LoneStarTimes via Robyn Hadley's OutThere column (subscription req'd).

Y'all probably read already about how Rick Perry received campaign donations for pennies from angry Houston taxpayers, but I just had to post this pic of one of the checks. It was the brainchild of the DJs from Houston's KSEV radio station. I gotta give it to that Houston anti-tax crowd, they find some funny ways to keep sticking thorns in Perry's side.

Some Nobel Prize dude in East Timor resigned his government post by sending the Prime Minister a text message. They then conversed via text message some more to talk about what went wrong. Those crazy East Timorians, LOL.

Over the weekend the chancellor of UC Santa Cruz committed suicide. That is tragic and I don't mean to make light of the situation, but this is the lead paragraph in the AP's writeup, emphasis mine:

"Everybody's stunned," Santa Cruz Mayor Cynthia Mathews said of the death Saturday of Denice Dee Denton, 46. "It's sad for her personally and for the university. It's been a very tough tenure for her."

Yes, I'm sure that for her, committing suicide is personally sad. And, seeing how it involved suicide, it would appear that her tenure was, in fact, very tough. I'm glad Santa Cruz has such a brilliant mayor to help them through the tough times.

And in other news, all of Hollywood is infected with communism. Rep. King (R-NY) wants the government to sue or imprison The New York Times for reporting on stories that show us our government is completely out-of-control. When the NYT reported that the government is snooping into our bank accounts, he said the Times is "more concerned about a left-wing elitist agenda than it is about the security of the American people."

Actually, I think all of America is more concerned about how this country is going to hell in a handbasket under the leadership of the Republicans. I'm surprised we are not seeing mass riots at this point.

Next up for our fearless leaders? A constitutional amendment to ban flag burning. It's a good thing, too. You can't even walk down to the liquor store without someone burning a goddamn flag in your face.

The Village Voice is brutal! This is the cover of their 'queer issue' for Gay Pride Month. One word: Ew.

Last week the media took hold of two stories about blogs and bloggers. The DailyKos got a little scrutiny not only for what is apparently a non-story, but for his response to the story in the first place. I don't read the DailyKos so I will admit pure ignorance on the situation and further, I don't give a shit. The other story was the governor of Kentucky blocking a liberal blog from state computers. Bad move. He's in some hot water over that stupid idea and his office is busy backpedaling as we speak.

I have something to say about both stories. Click the permalink to find out what.

State Rep. Mark Strama has understood the power of youth since his mullet-head Rock The Vote days and now that he's taken the much less respectable job of state legislator he didn't forget that if you get the youth interested in politics while they are young, they may vote tomorrow. Strama's Campaign Academy is going strong again this summer.

I was supposed to go with Eileen and KT to talk to the group about how campaigns can use 'new media' to enhance their campaign and how working with 'new media' can get coverage you might not see other places. Instead, I was in a boardroom getting all Joan Crawford on investors asses fighting a hostile takeover, except I wasn't wearing a suit with big shoulder pads. I'm sorry I missed out, I love seeing bright-eyed college students (insert inappropriate sexual innuendo here).

I think it is adorable the interns have created their very own LiveJournal blog. Y'all should go say hey.

Tributes to one-hit wonder Rockwell aside, yesterday's papers splashed a few headlines that fueled the conspiracy theorists paranoia to a frenzied level.
AT&T is, indeed, just trolling your phone calls, email and text messages in a big room with the NSA folks while eating day old Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Then we find out the U.S. Government is peeking in all your bank transactions, all those online porn purchase? Yeah, they totally know about it.

If I were susceptible to conspiracy theories, I might say the arrest of would-be terrorists in Miami at the same time this news is coming out seems well-timed. Thankfully, I'm too hungover to posit a conspiracy theory. I am just hungover enough to say that snooping around in my personal bizz-nazz is wrong on so many levels.

Fuckers.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

US SENATE--Senator Rick Santorum announced yesterday the significant discovery of a half-eaten Snickers bar behind his desk. "This finding proves that we are winning the war on terror," Santorum said. Along with a haf-eaten Snickers bar, which was believed to be at least 10 years old, a second discovery was revealed in a memorandum from Santorum's aide that additional candies were located in his desk drawer.

[MSNBC]

The Earth is the hottest it has been in 2,000 years and you're to blame. [CNN]

The SOS ruled today that Kinky and Carole will both be on the fall ballot. After all was said and done, Kinky ended up with 137,154 valid signatures and Carole had 108,512. Soooo, either Kinky's people spent alot more time validating their own signatures and following the rules, or the SOS wanted to put Carole at a disadvantage by validating fewer of her sigs and dampening her headlines. I'd lend credence to the former and not put the latter past the used car salesman that wants to run for a higher office in the future.

Whatever, it's all said and done now and we can move on to the real issues...like whether or not Carole will be listed as Grandma on the fall ballot. AAS story here and full statement at QR.

I love alliteration. Also of note from the signature validating, Steve Stockman, former Republican congressman and current whackjob, did not collect enough signatures to make it onto the ballot for Delay's old seat. That keeps the Republican base more solidified going up against Lampson. Again, it sure works out quite well for the Republican establishment that Stockman didn't get on the ballot. All he needed was 500 signatures. I've seen Jennifer Gale get 500 signatures when the bars let out on 6th street, people tend to enjoy waiting in random lines to do stuff at 2:15 in the morning.

And why in hell did it take the SOS 6 weeks to validate 500 signatures? If I had a penchant for data entry and a fifth of gin I could have knocked that out in a day.

Anyways, go give some money to Nick Lampson.

Rep. Kay Granger (from Ft. Worth) has received approval from the FEC to publicize her children's book on her official website, since all the money she makes from it is going to charity. Now which charity, I haven't found out yet. But take a look at this cover [thanks HuffPo]:

This doesn't look like a kid's book to me. It may be the most un-fun kid's book cover ever. Even the kid's version of the Book of Virtues by that great arbiter of values Mr. Bennett had a better cover. Yawn.

MoveOn.org is gearing up for a Rally for an Oil Free Congress event on June 28. From their site:

Gas prices are off the charts, the situation in the Middle East is unstable, scientists are warning that global warming is at a tipping point, and last month, MoveOn members decided that "clean, sustainable energy" should be one of our key goals. Tha'’s why it's time for an "Oil-Free Congress."

Seriously. Dumbest. Protest. Ever.

Ever wonder if it's difficult to write an article while you've got a raging hard-on?

Well, apparently it's not that tough. Just ask Seton Motley, who wrote a glowing review of all-things-Perry in The American Spectator. Just how glowing? A few sample lines:

• ... of course, the Texas press corps roundly loathes the Governor for being conservative, effective, and handsome all at the same time, about which he simply does not care.

• Governor Perry, critics be damned, has taken the Lone Star State a long way further than did his predecessor, as well as just about anyone else in charge anywhere else in the United States.

• Undaunted, and without complaint or pretext, Governor Perry pressed ahead and eliminated in toto the deficit, with nary a dime in taxes raised or incepted. He instead did what conservatives wish every level of government would do when facing issues concerning their coin.

Either Mr. Motley's already on the payroll, or he's hankering for a position on the campaign - or Perry's lap. Tone it down a bit, though. Subtlety has its benefits. [note: this last statement in no way applies to PinkDome.com. We shun subtlety.]

Researchers from Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine have injected neurons near the spinal cords of rats that had been paralyzed by a virus, and found that the rats were able to “partially” move their legs.

I have nothing further. Except, wait..I do. See? This is science. Science is good. Smart people can discover and invent and revolutionize and find cures and all sorts of really amazing things. Instead of villifying them, we should hold them up as nerdy heroes and teach our children that being a scientist is like, totally, way cooler than being Paris Hilton.

D'uh, right? Republican lawmakers are stalling on the renewal of the 1965 Voting Rights Act, stating that it unfairly singles out nine Southern States. (First, let me just say I've barely had my morning coffee so I'm not up to full brain power yet. This was the first headline I saw today and I still knew it was bullshit.)

The amendment's backers say the requirement unfairly singles out and holds accountable nine states that practiced racist voting policies decades ago, based on 1964 voter turnout data: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Texas and Virginia.

As an elitist myself, I can tell you the South is all about a social and economic class system that is extremely important. (Not so much in Texas, but you aren't really the South).

They GOP can spit out whatever rhetoric they want to, but as long as we all agree that it's a lie then we'll be fine.

Rep. Louie Gohmert keeps finding ways to make the blooper reel in the House of Representatives. From the Statesman Window on Washington blog (which seems to have replaced their Postcards From the Trail blog, seems Selby & Embry can't figure out something to write everyday, see how hard it is keeping you guys entertained?):

Responding to a proposal by Rep. Ed Markey, D-Mass, that would have gutted a bill to lift the 25-year-old ban on offshore drilling along most of the coast, Gohmert said proposals to pursue new energy sources don't seem to do well in Massachusetts. Noting that plans to build wind power farms off the coast of Cape Cod have run into local opposition, Gohmert said he wasn't sure if the winds blew offshore or onshore,

"I'm not sure if Massachusetts sucks or blows," Gohmert said.

One more way that even with Tom Delay gone, his legacy lives on through the sycophants he bought brought into office.

How many damn articles did we read saying the SOS would be ruling today if Kinky and Strayhorn are gonna be on the ballot? Did media headlines misreport or is the SOS just an ass?

The lovely, effervescent, intelligent and downright cute Kimberly Reeves has an article in the Austin Chronicle detailing the toll-road saga out on 290. You know the usual suspects already: think inbred, attention craving cousins of the Perry anti-tax crowd. Think Dan Patrick with a hole in his head (I know, now you know why we ignore them). Anyways, it seems there are also some logical people involved in the fight. Instead of throwing bombs at the table they decided to have a seat at the table. What a novel idea!

Now me, I'm a fan of bomb-throwing. Mark Strama! Rick Perry! Mike Krusee! Brewster McKracken! House Transportation Committee! Tollers Tea Party! Revolt!

...is anyone listening to me anymore?

So a while back I went to this function where Sen. Russ Feingold was talking. As usual, they tried to get me to fill out a form with all my contact information. Naturally, I gave them a fake address, fake phone number, fake email address, the usual. Somehow those crafty sum bitches figured out my real information and ever since then I get random letters and emails from Russ Feingold. C'est la vie.

At any rate, I check my email today, and nestled in my account's garbage bulk mail folder was an email from Sen. Feingold and Sen. John Kerry. It seems there will be a Kerry-Feingold amendment to "redeploy" the troops out of Iraq by a certain deadline. Note the use of redeploy instead of pull-out, or cut-and-run, or any other hyphenated anti-military axiom. No word yet on what the date is, but I'm guessing it's early November.

So my point is go here and also call your Senators (ha! like they'll listen to you) and watch how John Kerry takes the firm, politically expedient position of pulling the troops out, distancing himself from Hillary and getting ready for 2008.

Interesting that Jerome Armstrong (MyDD.com) and Markos Moulitsas, creator of Daily Kos, form Armstrong Zuniga, a political consulting firm and whenever they get paid thousands of dollars by a candidate's campaign they suddenly report on their blog the candidate is, like, totally awesome. (Source)

Interesting. Let me just put this out there. Should any candidate desire to pay me $12,000 for web-campaigning consulting I will also say nice things about you on PinkDome and probably tickle your ass with a feather...if that's your thing.

Just sayin' is all. (And, I'm totally serious)

Like how I randomly decide on capitalization rules all the time? Get over it.

Congressman Gohmer, you'll remember, is the one that declared on the floor of the House of Representatives that if Murtha would have been around during World War II we'd all be speaking German or Japanese. Oh, you retarded East Texas man you amaze me at your level of complete lack of any signs of intelligence.

Not content to let that statement stand on its own, his office released yet another doozy today. From the Tyler Morning Telegram we get this choice quote:

"You do not honor the precious lives lost by leaving before the job is finished," it reads. "You honor them by finishing. We also cannot win by setting an arbitrary date on which to withdraw. Had we set such a date during World War II, Hitler would have just hunkered down in his bunker 'til after the withdrawal date, come back out and started over. That is the example to follow when enemies swear to destroy you."

As a young'un I remember sitting in front of the TV with my sippy cup full of gin and handful of valium watching Schoolhouse Rock! I stumbled across this one after a friend mentioned their favorite Schoolhouse Rock! songs and thought we could re-learn a little about immigration and America.

Of course, since my family arrived with a land grant from the King all of this sounds quaint to me.

MySpace is being sued here in Travis County by the parents of a 14 year-old girl that says she was raped by a 19 year-old male. Sad, and so wrong...but blaming the Internet is (to quote a friend) like blaming the back seat of cars for teen pregnancy. There's a relationship there, but it isn't cause and effect. Parents: Watch your children, teach them about stranger danger. Do not give a 14 year-old child unlimited access to the Internet, do not give them a cell phone. They are not adults, they are children.

The fact we have to say that boggles our mind.

The SOS office says they may have verified the signatures for candidates Kinky Friedman and Carole Keeton Strayhorn as early as Wednesday. Both camps are confident. Friedman was overheard telling staffers, "I'm runing for what?!" and Strayhorn