A new study shows that one in five people believe the right to own a pet is protected by the Constitution. Fascinating news for me since our bitchy neighbor complains about the noises our darling Llama bleets at all hours of the night. The report focused most heavily on the fact that only one in 1000 knew what the First Amendment was. (The respondents of the study included one democrat and 999 republicans. Ba-dum-dum)
See, there's this thing called the 'Bill of Rights' and the First Amendment clearly states that as Americans you are all required to serve a King chosen by divine rule. If you go a little further down the list, the 7th Amendment for example, it clearly states a requirement to buy me alcohol every third Thursday. (This means you.)
Just for the hell of it, use the comments to create your own list of Amendments and 'truths we hold to be self-evident' the one that makes me do a spit-take on the computer screen will win either Tiff's Treats if you're in Austin or a gift certificate to Amazon.com.
Whether in time of War, or in time of Peace, no Citizen shall refuse the Vice President his inalienable Right to give a Money Shot to the Face.
Congress shall not abridge the executive's power to freely wiretap citizens and non-citizens.
LegeBoy, that was HILARIOUS. Cookies may be in your future!
The right to living in a state of complete ignorance shall not be abridged nor impeded by common sense, education, or questioning authority.
All presidential approval points regarding personal or wartime matters will be multipled by 2 prior to Executive debriefing. In turn, the public will believe the inflated results without question.
Should physickal Technologie progress such that the Removal of unwanted Fetii be humanely possible, no Strumpets can partake of these Implausible Operations unharrassed. Also, Divine Providence dictates that no Chief Executive of these United States be curtailed from his Inalienable Right to listen to any Citizen's conversations without that Citizen's consent or any due Legislative oversight. Ha! You Citizens of the Future can go screw thyselves!
...I'll hold YOUR truth until it is self-evident, if you'll hold mine...
I think the 10th Amendment is the one that says 'Thou shalt have no other gods before me.' I forget because I skipped catechism class once too often to go drinking.
Wartime powers of the President shall include monitoring of the people, buy the congress, and for the greater will of the political party in power that starts with letter R.
RSS
The ingestion of spicy salty goodness being felicitous to the functioning of a democratic society, the right to free chips and salsa shall not be abridged,