That was part of Helen Thomas' thank you to a Utah woman that organized an effort sending her thousands of flowers after she finally got to ask George Bush a question and grilled him about Iraq.

We think that is so sweet. We have admired her for so long, but if we are being completely honest...we don't know why. We can't remember reading a single byline by her. But since everybody says she's incredible, we believe it. Besides, it's just so cool that she's supposed to get the first question every time (right? I thought I heard that somewhere).

(Yes, I'm a total loser. I was so hungover all day that I'm not out tonight and I'm posting blog entries at midnight. Son of a bitch that sucks!)

A youth minister for the Crescent Lake Christian Academy is apparently training the Christian youth he's in charge of how to fight dirty. During a game of dodgeball he responded to getting a ball in the head by pushing down a 16 year-old boy and then kicking him so hard in the nuts that he had blood in his urine. I wonder if Tom DeLay condones this type of training? Seeing as how he's joined the chorus of morons saying there's a war on Christians.

Posted in its entirety, above the fold, because she deserves it.

My thanks to the Party Chairs and County officials for their professionalism in the recount. It went extremely smoothly. The people in charge of the ballots and the process have great integrity and I thank them.

Nathan, to you, your family, and your supporters, I wish you the very best as you set upon your journey to represent District 73 and the State of Texas. If elected in November, your job will not be easy, and I hope that you are up to the task because what you are able to do will reflect upon us all.

This campaign has been one of many for me. I chose service in the community where I lived and I have greatly enjoyed the challenges. I have run a number of campaigns and enjoyed them all until this one. I never dreamed that one person would spend close to one million dollars to purposely misrepresent and lie about my record. I hope those who seek public office now and in the future will honor the ninth commandment. I believe that people of faith owe that much to their constituents.

To my supporters, I thank you for your love, friendship and support. Your strength has been my strength these past few weeks. For those of you who have asked about our family, thank you. Tom will tell you that he won because he got his wife back. Barron and Cheryl regain their Mom and law partner and my grandchildren, Travis, Catherine, Morrigan, and Jace get their Grancarter back. My Aunt Hellen gets her kid back.

For those of you who had an issue with me, you have a chance to work on issues to make Texas a better place. I hope that you will continue your service to the process. You will need to be there for the next District 73 State Representative because this journey is not easy and it is impossible to please everyone. I hope Governor Perry will work with our communities to resolve the important issues such as toll roads, immigration, increasing taxes and the budget, which all seemed to be at the front and center for District 73.

God has other plans for me and I hope that I will be able to accomplish them. My life of public service was my choice. I hope I have been an inspiration to my children and grandchildren, so they will continue to pay back to the communities where they live. I believe it is important for them, and everyone, to leave life better than they found it.

I believe we need to have campaign finance reform in Texas. I also believe the Republican party needs to learn to govern and develop positive public policy, rather than trying to destroy others.

I urge you to continue to believe in the process and our democracy. It is the best thing we have going.

Carter Casteel

Sometimes life lobs you a softball. Tommorrow, April fools day, Frank Madla will be Governor for a day.

To quote our tipster, "Just...ahh. That's so sweet."

Georgia Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney gave a smack to a Capitol police officer when he didn't recognize her as she attempted to enter the building without going through the metal detectors. Bitches better recognize! While we doubt this happens to all the fat old white men entering the building, a black woman entering the building is surely a suspect. Don't they all carry knives or something?

We think there should be less slapping of police officers and more slapping of Dennis Hastert. Wouldn't you line up to do that?

[AP Photo/CBSNews]

Tony Rudy is kinda attractive in profile. He is pleading guilty to conpiracy charges and is planning to work with the federal investigators looking into lobbying fraud [CBSNews].

Is it radical extremists? Terrorists? Nope...it's illegal immigrants! According to Colorado Republican Rep. Tom Tancredo said about immigrants: "And they need to be found before it is too late. They're coming here to kill you, and you, and me, and my grandchildren," he said, pointing at people in the audience. "It's just despicable."

Wow, those damn, dirty Mexicans man...I knew they were plotting to kill me. Whoops! No they aren't. You can contact the Congressman at: DC Office
1130 Longworth HOB
Washington, DC 20515-0606
202.225.7882

I did, here's a brief transcript:
PD: Uhm, I just read the Congressman said immigrants were coming here to kill us? Is that your real position or did he have some sort of brain aneuryism?
Staffer: Hold on, please for a second. (Muffled voices)
Staffer: That statement was taken out of context.
PD: Oh, ok...so in what context would it be ok to say immigrants are coming here to kill us?
Staffer: The congressman believes that illegal border crossing are a threat to homeland security.
PD: So, he wants to like build a fence or something and keep them all out?
Staffer: Yes.
PD: Is the Congressman retarded?
Staffer: Uhm, no.
PD: Oh, cause I think he is. I bet you are embarrassed to work for him, aren't you.
Staffer: Uhm.
PD: That's ok, I'll let you go now. You probably have some mood elevators to take anyway.

"There shall be one statute for you and for the alien who sojourns with you, a perpetual statute throughout your generations; as you are, so shall the alien be before the LORD" Numbers 15:15.

During my lunch hour today I was held up by a group of cops on motorcycles. Following behind them was a huge group of high school students with flags who had taken to the streets to protest the injustices that are being done in Washington.

Tom Delay and John Cornyn spoke today about a war on Christians, the only problem is, they are the ones waging it. In the halls of the Capitol building hateful vitriol is being spewed about an entire class of people that provide the backbone for this nation.

Rep. Pena has some good thoughts on this all, I encourage you to read them.

Regarding national security concerns, I saw this quote on BlogLubbock "When did you ever see a Mexican blow up the World Trade Center?" A demonstrator said. 'Who do you think built the World Trade Center?'"

There are a lot of causes to take up. In Austin, I've seen rallies for the war, for gay rights, and a number of other things. I'm glad someone, even if it was high school students, decided that this issue was worthy of taking to the streets.

We revisited the HD47 race and against our better judgement listened to the AAS podcast of the debate. Alex Castano and Bill Welch face off in what sounds like an elevator. Seriously, there is whooshing and constant beeping as if we're riding up and down in the Frost Bank Building. It fits because the amateurish nature of these two 'tards is unbearable! Castano uses a gossipy story to say that Bill Welch is pro-abortion and then he continues to say that he's the true social conservative and even Rick Perry and Susan Combs say so and are helping him, even though they haven't endorsed him yet. (Seriously...this dude's a total 'tard). He says he is the kind of person needed as the future of the Republican Party.

Then when Gardner asked him about the credit card debt problem, he says he's working to pay that off. It's funny here because Bill let's him just go ahead and dig a big hole here. He counters that Alex has made some outrageous claims during this debate and then it really sounds like Alex starts to cry. A little sobbing actually. Uhm, Alex, there's no crying in Politics!

You can listen here.

UPDATE: There is video. At 12:48 into the stream is the 'choking up' moment. Gardner looks very uncomfortable. Bill just nodded. As someone that can get emotional and not be embarrassed about it, I loved to see how uncomfortable it made the other people in the room.

>
In Italian, the word Vaffanculo roughly translates to, "Go get fucked up your ass." Couldn't have said it any better.

South Carolina's Lt. Gov. is walking to work these days. It is 'symbolic' of his apology for being caught speeding twice and not getting tickets. Clocked at 101 mph once, it looks like he's probably doing about 1 mph now. We had to share this because of the sad puppy look on his face in this photo.

Running away from credit card debt should be the new American Dream. Republican candidate for HD 47, Alex Castano, has been sued for amassing over $35,000 in unpaid debt. He still touts his 'state budget discipline' as part of his campaign. We think that Castano could use this to his advantage. Millions of Americans are in over their head in debt, living paycheck-to-paycheck and in fear of losing their lifestyles through any hiccup in their income. This example should be a catalyst to create ways to help Americans wean themselves from the almighty credit gods.

Or, we could just point and laugh. Whatever.

Did y'all know that in America there is a war on Christians? Even though 85% of Americans identify themselves as Christian, we are being persecuted? Rep. Tom DeLay and Sen. John Cornyn both spoke at some event to rally the troops with reports from the "frontlines" of this war.

"We are after all a society that abides abortion on demand, that has killed millions of innocent children, that degrades the institution of marriage and often treats Christianity like some second-rate superstition. Seen from this perspective, of course there is a war on Christianity," he said.

The fact that 'leaders' in our country are fueling this nonsense is...damn, I can't even figure out a word for it. The fact that people are so stupid to believe it is another story altogether. Since I am a Christian should I be in fear for my life now? We always thought the liberals defending the separation of Church and State were just out to defend the Constitution, we also thought liberals were all whiny pussies but now it turns out they're trying to kill me because I love Jesus!

The e-vite for the PinkDome/In The Pink Kick Off The Special Session Right Party is out to a few I had emails for, Pink Lady will add her list. If you aren't on it, go ahead and add your name and RSVP. We're reserving the rooftop patio at SIX, a new'ish bar in downtown Austin. We could use your help in that 'reserving' part. We have to raise $1,000. The good news is that's our bar tab, so if you arrive early we'll be buying drinks!

You can donate through PayPal or email me if you don't have a PayPal account.

A Craigslist's posting is asking for any witness to an assault downtown Sunday. Two men (described in the post) attacked a woman near Maggie Mays. Several people came to her aid and beat the men, including a volunteer trying to get signatures for Kinky Friedman.

So, look, right there you have it. Sending out people to get signatures for independent candidates is helping stop crime in Austin!

Side note. Maybe if the TABC did not have officers inside of bars trying to nab people for drinking in a bar they could be out on the street aressting people for committing crimes.

Guess it's getting harder to find good cocaine in D.C. The White House is scraping it out of the wastewater from the Potomac River Basin. Man, you know you need a fix when you stoop that low. All that isn't really necessary though, we heard the second floor bathroom is where you can get the hook up.

State Representative by day, Broadway star by night.

This is PinkDome's official welcome wagon for Rep. Howard. You know you've arrived when you've made a bad photoshop on PinkDome.

WorldNet Daily, the uber-conservative 'news' site, recently had this story above the fold:

Then, another story details "Hillary's Chappaquiddick" (The conservative freaks need a new phrase, this one is worn out this week) [via GoodAsYou]

For those of you that could not stop yourself from a mental image of Hillary giving it to you hard, an immediate Internet search for porn is now required.

In SD-18, Dr. Henry Boehm Jr and Brett Baldwin filed to run for the Democratic nomination in the primaries. Then, a month out from voting day, Boehm bowed out. Somehow, though, the genius voters of that district still voted for him, essentially making it so that Dems have no candidate to run against Glen Hegar in November. After he won, Boehm started to reconsider, but still decided to stay out of that race.

So yeah, when it boils down to it, Democrats in SD-18 voted to not have a choice in November.

Jack Abramoff has been sentenced to five years and 10 months in prison [MyWay]. Well, a little something's better than nothing. He and his partner will help out in the corruption investigation before they go to jail.

Tommy Merritt filed a defamation lawsuit against his Leininger backed opponent Mark Williams back during the campaign. Even though he's won, Merritt is still going through with the lawsuit to further squash Williams. When Leininger talked Williams into running, I wonder if he mentioned that if you piss someone off enough, they'll bite back. Via TexasWeekly.

Tiring of the one-liners? Kinky is shaping up his stance on immigration, something more than just building a wall along the border. The press release doesn't have a single joke in it, and actually has Kinky calling for Perry to meet with Govs. Bill Richardson and Janet Napolitano to "develop a coordinated state plan which would supplement the federal efforts to stem the tide of illegal immigration."

Well hot damn, that language doesn't sound like the Kinky we've been hearing, let's see what else he has up his sleeve.

Senator Cornyn says the problem with America is we're always having elections. Wouldn't it be a lot better if we just had gladiator-style fights to the death instead? Moron. [Wonkette]

State Representative has formally requested and paid for a recount in her district. The recount will begin today and conclude tomorrow, March 30, if we understand the press release correctly. Last we remember there was a 46 vote shortfall for Rep. Casteel.

Everyone's a twitter this morning as John Sharp, much like a groundhog, pops up to reveal the long awaited tax fix. And then we get two paragraphs into it and our insomnia was cured.

The 92 page document (a PDF file, no less) almost sucked us in to snuggle up on the sofa, turn off the phone and spend our day with some International Coffee and what we guess is a real page-turner. Instead we'll peruse the state headlines, wait for a few press releases to come our way and then one of y'all will have read it all by then and will tell us what's in it that's good, bad and ugleeee.

The Statesman this morning is focusing on the $1 a pack tax on cigarettes. One dollar a pack, gosh...remember when cigarettes were a nickel?

We're hoping there is a new tax on some of things we suggested earlier. Instead of a franchise tax or income tax, all we need in this state is a stupid tax. We'd have surpluses every year! We're wondering what Lawrence will have to say about it over at ITPT cause you know he's got something to say.

PinkDome is not a Texan. (Nor did I get here as fast as I could) This whole immigration brouhaha is confusing the hell out of me. Sure, entering the country by sneaking over the border is wrong....I guess. Getting a job here and being a productive and contributing member of society and the workforce=good. Escaping a life of poverty for the much heralded American Dream=good. Doing jobs I know I'd never do=good. (See? I can be racist without even knowing it!). Now, the bad? Not paying taxes=bad. Employers not paying taxes, worker's comp, etc on immigrant workers=bad. Uhm, what else?

My family came here so long ago we had a land grant from the king. There are parts of the East Coast that I still think of as my personal property. But, that whole Ellis Island thing is cute to me. It's so...give me your tired and poor and hungry, yearning to breathe free. A wall on the border, on the other hand, is so...German.

So, if you've got a good point or two without being a jackass about it fill me in. And, if you're a Libertarian, don't bother I don't understand you people either and I'm sick of hearing about whatever it is you're trying to tell me.

There, projects for everyone!

We used to think that John McCain was kinda smart...a presidential contender. Remember when he used to criticize the Bush Administration? Now, he's suckling at their teet. Remember when he said Jerry Falwell was an "agent of intolerance"? Well, looks like he's flip-flopped on that one. He'll be speaking at Falwell's Liberty U graduation.

Falwell says they are now in bed together like two gay cowboys. Falwell said McCain has expressed a willingness to support a Federal Marriage Amendment, an issue dear to conservative Christians.

Oh, the Kool-Aid...it claims yet another.

. . . except when they're not. The WaPo did a story on Saturday about Russia telling Senor Hussein about the US's plans for invasion. Not that we should have attacked in the first place, but why is Russia the one telling Hussein about it?

Yes, the story is a couple days old, but I was without internet access for so long that it's new to me! And who knows, it may be new to you too.

The Pro-Choice group NARAL is striking back at the Bush Administration. With the recent attacks on women's right to choose, the WaPo reported last week the Bush Administration has given anti-choice "crisis pregnancy centers" (CPCs), created to dissuade women from exercising their right to choose, over $60 million in taxpayer dollars. These organizations often advertise under 'abortion services' in the yellow pages, even though they don’t offer this health care.

A Native American Tribe in South Dakota vows to build a Planned Parenthood clinic on their own sovereign land in protest of the ban on abortions in that state. The President of the Oglala Sioux Tribe on the Pine Ridge Reservation, Cecilia Fire Thunder, was incensed. A former nurse and healthcare giver she was very angry that a state body made up mostly of white males, would make such a stupid law against women.

“To me, it is now a question of sovereignty,� she said to me last week. “I will personally establish a Planned Parenthood clinic on my own land which is within the boundaries of the Pine Ridge Reservation where the State of South Dakota has absolutely no jurisdiction.�

Finally looks like Native Americans are going to make the government sorry for not just running Indians off a cliff when they had a chance.

Here's the latest fastest-selling bumper sticker for Repbulicans. Yep, that's right it's a joke from 1960 something. And, it is defending the Dick Cheney. Who, in their right mind, would defend Dick Cheney? Do you have no pride? No soul? Why do you hate America?

You can call this company that's touting this as the best bumper sticker ever at 1-800-787-4567 X 110. Tell them you thought about going hunting with Dick Cheney but you really don't like being shot in the face. (That was the nicest thing I could come up with that would not have been followed by a visit from the Secret Service.)

When the TABC started aressting people inside of bars it made national news. The TABC were all just so proud of themselves they even sent out talking points to lawmakers about how to talk to the press about how totally awesome they were. That was until they sent one to Senator Chris Harris. He replied to the email with one sentence:

"WHO IN THE DAMN HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

We agree, Senator, we agree. Now it Rep. Kino Flores, chairman of the House Licensing and Administrative Procedures, said he plans to call a meeting next month to examine the alcohol commission's work. But Sen. Whitmire doesn't seem to be on board with the outrage here.

But, there is outrage. Including city convention and visitor bureaus that are upset because people are being aressted in hotel bars when they are guests of the hotel. I guess the danger of pushing the wrong button on the elevator to go back to your room and pass out it is a real danger to societ in Texas. It's certainly a danger to tourism!
'I'm getting all those same e-mails, the Nazi, Taliban, Gestapo e-mails," said commission spokeswoman Carolyn Beck. "I don't really understand the hateful outrage. I don't understand, 'Die in a fire.' "

You can complain about this "neo-Prohibitionism" by calling the TABC or Sen. Harris, Rep. Kino Flores, Sen. Whitmire or Rep. Peggy Hamric. Tell them that if the state were going to start aressting people for drinking in a bar, they ought to start aressting legislators for trying to make laws in the Capitol. Same thing...both potential dangers to the public at large.

We see absurdity and we raise you one outrage.

This time we think we can link it directly to the Perry campaign. Notice it's all black, just like his soul. I believe an entire team is working on getting the site back up and running and let's bet she is pissed off. I bet someone over there gets FIRED!!

Showing the first ever sign that Bush can hear and understand criticism, he's accepted the resignation of Andy Card.
Now that he's gotten started we should see pink slips start flying around all over the place.

Here's an exclusive excerpt from Card's resignation letter:

Dear Mr. President,
Thank you for ruining my career. You suck. I'm outta here.

Good luck with all this shit,
Andy

Oh well, guess Tom will have to take that bumper sticker off the ol' exterminator truck now. Seems his license to carry a concealed weapon has been revoked. We really think that it was done for his own safety. Someone that stupid and evil can only bring harm on themselves. [Thanks Boozhy!]

Watch me lose my shit in the comments on this post. Clearly, I need a serenity corner.

Funny, we heard he liked getting probed. The Travis County Attorney's office says he's been saved by the statute of limitations.

Travis County Attorney David Escamilla said Reed's activities raised "legitimate" concerns, but a two-year statute of limitations prevented him engaging in a formal investigation. Travis County includes the state capital of Austin.

Oh well, we're sure there will be plenty of other opportunities to probe Ralph Reed at a later date. Like on a Saturday night at some rest stop outside of Atlanta.

Midland's editorial board had this to say about legislators in the upcoming special session:

"We know they face a tough challenge and we hope, in addition, they don't get sidetracked by too many education issues in this session".

Midland is joining the ever growing list of voices that want to drop a few billion into the tax structure and get the hell out of town. They keep whiddling away at the list of things to do until there's nothing really left. It's not a fix if you simply stick one more finger in the dam to slow the leak. Hell, why don't you just get rid of the $1.50 cap and call it a night, that'll satisfy the Supreme Court's ruling. Putting off the problem to a later date isn't helping anybody, in fact it's hurting. Remember how kids didn't get their textbooks on time this year?

Here's a novel idea for the editorial board, don't give them an excuse to do a piss-poor job. That enabling behavior is part of the reason we're stuck in this rut. Why are you content with the status quo? It's like the kid that sits in the back of the classroom. He fails his TAKs test a few times and the schools go ahead and pass him on to the next grade instead of taking a new approach to address the problem.

Let's not pass Rick Perry and Tom Craddick on to the next level simply because there's nothing else to do. Hold them accountable this April, and this November at the ballot box lets take a new approach at educating kids.

Friday's Ethics Commission ruling was ridiculous. Craig McDonald, director of Texans for Public Justice said "This ruling leaves a big enough loophole to drive an armored truck full of money through. All you would have to say is 'a truck.'"

I'd like to point y'all towards Rep. Lon Burnam's column that ran the same day as the ethics debacle. With the pussies on the Ethics Commission afraid to do their job, that's just one more thing we need to address next January when the Lege convenes.

Justice Antonin Scalia flipped his middle finger in reference to reporters while he was at church. Tisk, Tisk, our mothers taught us better than that.

John McCain learned his lesson in 2000: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. He recently swung through Texas, picking up nods from many in the upper echelons of the Texas Republican establishment. He's got Bill Clements on his side, as well as a handful of former congressmen. Throw that in with some Bush campaign strategists, some Texas money, and an appearance with Bush Sr. next month, stick it in a blender and you get an annointed successor for president in '08. Or at least that's the appearance that some are trying to give, we'll see.

Via DMN

The Libertarian party nominated it's guy to be on the November ballot in CD-22. Disaffected Republican voters that can't bring themselves to vote for a Dem or that crazy ass Stockman guy now have someone else to pick.

Apparently the nominee, Bob Smither, is the father of Laura Smither, the girl who was abducted in Friendswood back in 1997. Her case got some prominent attention, and Smither went on to found the Laura Recovery Center. Anyways, it's one more person with name ID in the district to sap votes from Delay.

Dan Patrick spent his campaign bitching about taking money from special interests. Then he got elected and goes straight to the Austin Club for an insiders-only fundraiser, to pick up checks from people who represent trial lawyers, gambling interests, and a host of other people he isn't afraid to sell out for.

During the campaign he said "We must have campaign reform in this state, like this maximum $1,000, and it should only come from people in the district," now "he has since determined that a $5,000 limit is more reasonable." Bah.

I will say this, by electing a firebrand idiotic radio talk show host to the Senate, Republicans now have no right to complain when Al Franken ends up getting elected to the Senate.

Our President bullied the world into a war. He talked of spreading freedom and democracy across the land. Begrudgingly we cheered and excitedly rooted out evil in this far away land. Then as we declared victory over evil, the new government takes a man that converted to Christianity and decides to execute him. Oops.

The debate raging over immigration hits the Senate today. Could some articulate person email me a post about this? Don't be a weirdo libertarian either, because I'm not studying all that. What am I studying is this....thousands of immigrants took to the streets this weekend to oppose the whole criminalization of immigrants, shutting down a guest-worker program and basically building a wall (literally?) on the border.

Ok, so here's the problem. We've got people streaming across the border. They get here, they get work, they send money home to the rest of their family. I get that, should there be an Ellis Island thing down there to process them and welcome to the United States? Or, should we be shooting them on sight because they're wetbacks? They probably aren't going to get any job except mowing lawns or working at Taco Bell anyway, right? Oh, and I heard they steal shit all the time, too.

Dang, this is confusing. I like America to welcome immigrants and be the whole beacon for the rest of the worl as the place to come and make your dreams come true, I guess I wish it weren't so many dirty Mexicans.

(The above is farce. Do not flame me with hate because I'll laugh at you. Do explain WTF? to me and tell me why we all aren't out in the streets today protesting this kind of shit.)

From today's DMN. Re: Memorandum leading to Iraq War:

The memo also shows that the president and the prime minister acknowledged that no unconventional weapons had been found inside Iraq. Faced with the possibility of not finding any before the planned invasion, Mr. Bush talked about several ways to provoke a confrontation, including a proposal to paint a U.S. surveillance plane in the colors of the United Nations in hopes of drawing fire, or assassinating Mr. Hussein.

We saw the protests about immigration this weekend. Did y'all see those? How come immigrants can manage to get so riled up and take to the streets in droves to protest this government and our lazy asses are sitting on the sofa watching this president destroy a whole goddamn checklist from the Constitution?

You people wonder why we drink so much. If you need us we'll be in the back yard digging a hole to crawl in.

There's a movement afoot to create a national holiday called, Terri's Day, to honor Terri Schiavo and the 'Culture of Life.' We think we'd like to propose some additional national holidays so we can take more paid holidays and spend them honoring things we think are worth honoring.

Here are few, help us get a million sponsors nationwide to send these to Congress:
I'm too Drunk to go to Work Day. (Celebrated every other Friday from June to September)
No More Stupid Day. (This day requires all stupid people to stay inside so the rest of us don't have to deal with them for just one friggin' day!)
Blogger Appreciation Day. (We so deserve praise at least one day of the year)

Come up with your own in the comments. You can also comment on the absurdity of the Culture of Life movement using a dead girl as their champion. Or, you could comment on how this proposed holiday in no way diminishes the important contributions and honorable holidays we have now...Terri Schiavo Day/Martin Luther King, Jr. Day...same thing.

Looks like nobody's got 'em. From the WaPo today:

...the Lincoln Group does not do propaganda. Sure, the firm's been tarred by some in Congress, the media and the defense establishment for paying Iraqi newspapers to publish hundreds of "news" stories secretly written by U.S. troops.

But Paige Craig, the West Point dropout and former Marine intelligence specialist who is the Lincoln Group's president, says the practice is not propaganda. The word carries such baggage, such suggestions of mind control. So in an industry in which euphemism thrives, a more elegant word is deployed.

"We call it 'influence,' " says Craig, whose business has 12 U.S. government contracts totaling more than $130 million.

(I know, too far, cut me some slack...I'm totally hungover.)

Could still be a valuable donation to your campaign. At least according to the *cough* Texas Ethics Commission. Friday's hearing actually let it be known to all candidates that ethics in Texas are really up to each individual, and really don't need a Commission as an oversight as all. I think we should call for the immediate disbanding of the whole group. They are obviously worthless.

Why? Well, according to them, if you give someone a 'check' as a 'gift' all the person has to do is write 'check' on their disclosure form. Ta. Da. What, you say? But how much was the check written for? It does not matter, that my dear sane friends is irrelevant.

QR said it was like a scene from Kafke. QR gives them too much credit, I'd say more like Keystone Cops. The FW Startlegram has it here, the DMN blasts it here, The SA X-N gets their bits in here, The AAS lauds it as a triumph of justics here (KIDDING), and we couldn't find it in the Houston Chronicle. Tsk. Tsk, Chron. I was just about to say how impressed I had beenlately with your paper.

Oh well, we're off to give the gifts of turds to a few politicians. We dare them to value each one less than $1,000!

Runoff season is fast approaching. We started looking around the state and decided to land in Houston for a minute. Al Edwards enters a runoff against Borris Miles (Pictured here volunteering at a Thanksgiving food bank, not leering at sexy cheerleaders) In case you are wondering, we went through some of our posts on the incumbent, Al Edwards, and we've decided he's a shit.

There was the time he pissed us off with promoting his cozy relationship to she-devil Priscilla Owen. (Yeah, she's a champion for the civil rights of his Houston District. HA!). Then there was the time that WE actually pissed Al off when we encouraged you to call and find out why he was following orders from Tom Craddick to not be in the Chamber during a vote on HB3. We heard his office got so many nasty calls from our post he was a new non-fan of PinkDome. Then there was the time Rep. Edwards pissed off the entire state of Texas by making us a laughingstock of the country with his stupid cheerleader bill.

Dear Houston, My Houston. We need to get you out to the polls. We need to get rid of people like Al Edwards. If he wants to switch parties and become a Republican, that's fine. Just stop running in a Dem district (ahem, Madla) and calling yourself a Dem when you're so far up Craddick's ass you can tell us what he's had for lunch last week.

Photo Credit, Ralph Barrera, Austin American-Statesman
(They'll ask me to take it down I'm sure, they hate it when I use anything from their site...but y'all this is the best photo that has EVER been in that newspaper) Note to AAS: Can I buy it?