Welcome back to town, y'all. We have a few suggestions how to make the Summer Special tolerable.
1. Robert Talton should not be recognized by the Speaker for anything. Ever.
2. Frozen margarita machines in your office will make constituent visits much more pleasant.
3. Every Wednesday debate should be held at Barton Springs Pool.
4. All press conferences (AKA political campaign events) should close out with Rep. Senfronia Thompson grabbing the microphone and saying, "Overruled."
5. Point of Personal Preference, May the Members be allowed to wear shorts and flip-flops on the House Floor?
6. Point of Personal Preference, May that Point exclude Susanna Hupp? We can't tolerate the idea of acid-washed denim jean shorts potentially making an appearance.
7. Press briefings held at the Four Season pool. Anyone?
8. More Carter, Less Tom.
Add your own to welcome back the State's esteemed elected officials.
"gay in midland"?????? God, you poor soul. quick, come to Austin before they Find You.
Drinks - thanks for the invite but I am currently incognito. Itâs quite a trip to attend the exclusive Republican parties here and hobnob with the likes of Tom and his cronies while I secretly obtain information to pass along to the "enemy"... hehehe.
Not recognize Talton? But, whatever would we do for entertainment?
Besides his more high profile gay-hating gaffes, there are also those other priceless gems like the debate on the bill that provided incentives for students taking the International Baccalaureate courses in high school (sponsored by that well known black-helicopter-riding, communist-sympathizing, international conspirator, Todd Smith). Ol' Bob is readin' fax pages from some institution in FAIRFAX VIRGINIA (I don't know why, but he kept repeating that...FAIRFAX VIRGINIA!) that says the IBB courses are part of an international CONSPIRACY to ROB our CHILDREN of AMERICAN VALUES!!! Heavens! The courses teach students about -- Ghasp! -- the UNITED NATIONS! And even UNESCO!! It is worth noting that even Joe Nixon was rolling his eyes, and sarcastically throwing his hands in the air while yelling "Oh my God, it's a COMMUNIST CONSPIRACY!"
I mean, you can't buy entertainment that good.
Edmonton dominated the Carolina Hurricanes on Saturday night and the 4-0 margin in Game 6 makes it hard to imagine the Oilers not hoisting hockey's Holy Grail above their heads in less than 48 hours. And it would not come as any shock to see defenseman Chris Pronger, who had another 31-minute night, take the honors for the Conn Smythe Trophy as the playoff MVP.
Edmonton dominated the Carolina Hurricanes on Saturday night and the 4-0 margin in Game 6 makes it hard to imagine the Oilers not hoisting hockey's Holy Grail above their heads in less than 48 hours. And it would not come as any shock to see defenseman Chris Pronger, who had another 31-minute night, take the honors for the Conn Smythe Trophy as the playoff MVP.
RSS
Yea, how about this;
GET SOMETHING DONE - AND QUICK!
What is so horrible about this is that these guys and gals - many of who are right-wing Republicans, condemn the U.S. Congress for doing nothing! This has to be the absolute worst bunch of do nothing, argumentative, uncooperative Texas Legislators in recent history. They should all be fired - from the Governor, Lt. Governor, Speaker all the way down.
As the right-wingers are so fond of saying, ". If this were a business, they would have all been let go!"