According to a DMN Exclusive (we love that word, makes us tingle in our special place) Governor Perry's office met with several top lobbyists to get them to sponsor an "ad campaign" to promote "the school funding legislation" and the "property tax decrease" legislation. Like how we use quotes around things...What the sentence would read like if we didn't have a sense or irony:

...get them to sponsor a smear campaign targeting Republicans that voted against the proposals or whose support is weakening on the shocking school finance piece of shit legislation and the ginormous tax increase bills.

Deirdre Delisi, the governor's chief of staff, asked the lobbyists to report back next week on whether their clients would contribute money, then she took off her strap on and casually walked out the door as the lobbyists sheepishly pulled up their pants.

The Bay Area Democrats and 'A Texas Republican For Ethical Reform" are apparently joining together to protest Tom DeLay's keynote speech at the NRA convention this weekend in Houston. The flyer (.pdf file) points out strongly that this is not a protest of the NRA, just DeLay.

So if you don't have anything better to do Saturday night, mosey on down there and just yell, "JERK" over and over again and see if Tom hears you.

Yeah, we used the "N" word. The proposal to require your race to be displayed on the front of your driver's license is meant to build better statistics to judge whether or not Texas is engaging in 'racial profiling' during traffic stops. (San Antonio Express-News)

Uhm, they are. Question answered. Next? Anyone?

Oh, why do we think this is a bad idea? Maybe because a.) the information is already embedded in the magnetic strip on our license, b.) it's none of your damn business what my ethnicity is you fuckwad, and c.) displaying this information on your license? What's next we all have to put decals on our cars?

We're sure Scott over at Grits has a better grasp on this than we do, but we haven't jumped over there yet today.

Says, Rep. Dan Flynn after the coach was shot in his district. Karen Brooks of the DMN reports he seized the golden opportunity of a school shooting to call for a return to the simpler days and put God in schools.

Flynn was quickly interviewed about the incident and used his camera time to let us know that this never would have happened had their been some Jesus in that school.

Weird, the shooter didn't attend the school.

Ok, here's the deal. It is not the government's role to teach people about God. That's a parent's and/or community's responsibility, a Church's responsibility. Not the government.

Oh, and while we are on the subject...quit using religion as a political maneuver. God (and PinkDome) can see right through you.

Rep. Tommy Merritt alleged in today's Chron that their was some arm-twisting going on to get Craddick in the Speaker's seat. Old news we know, but watching this whole thing play out is tons more entertaining than watching The Apprentice.

The House committee holding up the campaign finance bill needs a dose of Ex-Lax. They can't seem to get it moving. (DMN) Funny, other committees are letting the shit flow fast and furious but Mary Denny's just sitting there grunting on the campaign finance bill.

Someone deliver her some laxatives to help her get the message.

The title for this post is taken from a quote in an ad for telecomfortexas.com, which encourages us Texans to question telecom competition. Oh yeah, competition is bad, monopolies good, right? Um, not so much. The ad shows a subscript at the bottom of the screen saying, paid for by SBC. What a surprise! SBC loves Rep. King's bill, we know this.

We wish such crappy ads wouldn't interrupt our CSI-watching. Damn it.

Speaker of the House Craddick will be substitute teaching (AAS) for a Mendez Middle School teacher here in Austin tomorrow. We'd love to get in on that action. Kids, let's talk about how to kill Robin Hood. Middle school is hard enough to deal with without politicians eating into the school day with publicity stunts.

added by PD:
What's next? Photo opps in the maternity ward? Craddick cares about the children, y'all. Wow, think I just threw up a little in my mouth when I wrote that.

Looking over the stats for PinkDome, we were pleased to see that searches for Reps and Senators by name, pieces of legislation, and political related terms were at the top of the list. Of the 1,000 or so other search terms that brought people to PinkDome, here are some of our favorites:

ample bosom--must have been a Delisi related post.
cute liquor flasks--Rep. Geren, sorry we don't sell those.
bill hammond, your logic is flawed--this should be obvious, but glad somebody was searching to make sure.
girls tongue kissing--someone needed to Google that?
does government have enough money solve health care problems--we didn't write about that, but the answer is no.
hot teenage cheerleaders--now we know where Edwards did his research!
things to say to my son graduating from college?--how about son, I wrote a letter on TAB letterhead to try and get you a job? Just sayin' is all.
unflattering tom delay photos--is there a flattering one?
rep yvonne davis from texas is a fucking idiot--wow, nothing ambiguous about that search term is there?

The rest were searches for specific legislation, house calendars, and a few sexy cheerleader searches. We hope they found what they were looking for. We're pleased that the majority of Google search terms that brought people to PinkDome were somehow related to Texas politics. The above is just a sampling of the funny things that people were sorely disappointed when they arrived. Sorry to disappoint you but we have not posted any lesbian porn galleries. (yet)

The State Affairs committee is meeting right now, discussing pharmacists who don't want to hand out birth control and more!

A pharmacist from Dallas is testifying now saying that she won't dole out the morning-after pill. She says she is willing to recommend a pharmacist who will to the customer, but she won't. She will hand out birth-control though. She talked it over with her priest.

Rep. Pena is on a roll with this blogging thing. Not only does he have his own blog (A Capitol Blog), but now he's started a new blog (Lone Star Rising) for his legislator pals to use, since people are still a leetle scared by the idea of setting up their own "blog". So far Rep. Veronica Gonzales and Rep. Joe Deshotel have posted. We added a link to it on the right for your perusal. We look forward to more!

We're so glad the retired teachers from my district are here!! We're so glad y'all aren't on our asses about a pay raise! Give it up for the old folks riding up here on a bus for no reason whatsoever! WOO WOO

Except Senfronia. She means it when she says thanks and she means it. Love her so much. Did y'all send her flowers or something? You should she totally rocks hard core!

By the way, when a Rep. says "I am overly pleased." or "I want to recognize..." What they really mean is: "I am so annoyed I have to get up here and say welcome to a bunch of powerless constituents on a field trip when I'd rather be stripping the rights of Texans out from under them."

The State Affairs Committee will be off and on today going through 13 bills eroding women's rights, most described as 'not giving the courtesy of a reacharound'.

Right now it's the Pharmacy Bill. Let's listen together. I'm still hopped up on painkillers so my commentary will be colorful...at least to me.

Should it be alright to walk into a pharmacy, hand a pharmacist your prescription and the pharmacist not only refuse to fill it, but also refuse to give the prescription back so you could go down the street and have it filled? After all, a doctor prescribed it, it should be filled. Speaking personally, if CVS had refused to fill my prescription for pain killers yesterday and wouldn't give me my scrip back to go to a REAL pharmacy, they would have had to call the S.W.A.T. team with the trouble that would have erupted in the drug store!

Get ready to celebrate, kiddoes! Tomorrow is Fire Ant Prevention day in Texas. You just can't make this stuff up. We are pleased that the Lege is making time to recognize this prestigous day. Seriously, we can't stand fire ants. They have ruined many a picnic/make-out-session-in-the-grass for us. Okay, well, maybe not many, but once was enough to make it memorable.

I hate to plug the same site twice in one day, but Bill Bishop at Lasso has a scathing post on how little we pay for education and how much that affects our state. I'm a fan, okay?

Here's a bit:

In a way, the system might work. The schools will deteriorate because theyâ??ll have less money. Kids will receive an increasingly substandard education. But thatâ??s OK, because Texas will have more low-wage jobs where unskilled workers can find employment. Itâ??s the perfect recipe for creating more poor people and poor places.

Gov. Perry is starring in a non-campaign ad to sell out-of-state businesses on how coolio Texas is. Come hang with us, yo. The Houston Chronicle states that it is not a campaign spot, instead a promotion of our fair state. We're having viewing issues over here, but we are sure the ad is as ridiculous as it sounds.

Thanks to Lasso for the heads up.

Rep. Villareal's proposed HB 1515 is a Bill to include 'sexual orientation' in the discrimination language to prohibit housing, employment and other forms of discrimination based on sexual orientation or identity.

See the attached Analysis his office sent us here: Download file

We talked to the expert again and talked to them while I was sober, and we re-did our grid to reflect the shit is HB 3305. We guess, here at PinkDome, we still believe there is good in everybody (you know, like Anne Frank did right before they threw her in the oven).

Well, in the Texas Lege that is not the case. So, we had to go back and completely realize that the 3305 has the interest of no one in mind except a vocal minority of idealogues. So much for us trying to lay off the booze and not be cynical just once in our lives.

We'll let the expert explain it. Check out the analysis after the jump. It's a grid! Go ahead, Read!

Tuesday Morning the Texas Senate will vote on SB 848 (see this post and this one), a bill that will destroy local control of development by expanding the â??Grandfatheringâ?? laws. Wednesday the House of Representatives will vote on its version of the same bill, HB 1704.

These bills allow developers to submit defective and incomplete plans---as in a sketch on a cocktail napkin---and lock in development regulations for years and decades until the project is built.

PinkDome would say another way for developers to submit incomplete plans is when they write them on the back of a 'check.' Just sayin' is all.

Update: Rep. Villareal's office called. After the jump.
Rep. Wong has sent us her statement on HJR 6's lightning fast vote out of committee this morning. View the PDF here.

We also called Vilarreal's office for a statement on where he was along with Martinez-Fisher cause they were both absent on the vote. Sure, it wouldn't have made a difference on getting it to the floor, but it would have been nice to see a couple of "Nays" other than Farrar. Farrar's office told us she says, "We are Texans, fiercely independent and proud of it, and we mind our own business." She gets our strong Democrat award today.

Martinez Fisher gets our pissed off Democrat award today, here's what he had to say:

Representative Martinez Fisher called me to ask if I was about to 'punk' him. His surprise was that HJR 6 was voted on so early and without any notification that it was coming up for a vote. He has more to say, read it after the jump:

"If I were to smash embryo's with my fist, I've terminated life."
"Why do they call it embryonic stem cell research if it isn't an embryo?"
"Martha, before you were an infant, you were an embryo, and if someone terminated your embryo, they would have terminated Martha's life!"

If we hear 'slippery slope' one more time we're going to projectile vomit in the committee room.

State Affairs is hearing testimony from an idiot on stem cell research. Embryos are not live cute little babies. OMG, it's science! Run for the hills folks, them people might talk about science!

update from Bluebonnet: Burnt Orange Report has a post by Alison Bell on stem cell research and why it is needed.

They busted the sewer lines in E2. Stinks down there.

The State Affairs Committee will also take up stem cell research later today. Of course, the bill before them is to ban stem cell research.
We hate to quote Chris Bell, since he's not running for anything...but his press release says it pretty PinkDome'ly:

â??What would Jesus do?â?? asked Chris Bell. â??Jesus didnâ??t tell us to heal the sick unless politics got in the way. When Jesus healed the lepers and gave the blind their sight, He didnâ??t stop to worry about slippery slopes and potential implications.â??

Even nationally, Republicans are coming around on this issue. We just named a highway after Ronald Reagan, but we bet Nancy would rather we didn't oppose stem cell research.

Take a good look at her Representatives on State Affairs. Are you going to break her heart?

What does 12 hours of emotional testimony by constituents get you in Texas. Not a damn thing. HJR 6 was voted out of committee this morning. Watch the vote here (6 Ayes, 1 Nay and 2 Absent).

Martha Wong, our favorite Feng Shui expert, voted for sending HJR 6 out of committee despite being lobbied heavily by her district to oppose the amendment.

Rep. Keffer also voted to send it out of committee to the House Floor despite saying he loved his gay son. It's sad when your blinded by idealogy so much so that even when you know in your heart something is wrong you vote with your ignorant constituents.

This is Texas. We hate here. (Can someone put that on a billboard, please?)

Nope. Nothing inappropriate here. Move along, please. Once again, we see the Texas lege and TXU showing a blatant disregard for the 'appearance of impropriety.' Armbrister and Fraser both accepted passes to the Master's Tournament from TXU. What possible state business could be discussed or enhanced in Georgia at a golf tournament? And, is truancy really a good example to set for the children of Texas? We'll need a note from both of your mothers pronto or you're in detention.

The senators missed Thursday's Senate session during which members approved seven substantive proposals on top of 51 other measures, including two sponsored by Armbrister and one from Fraser.

We've hesitated to post anything on this Internet hunting bill. What kind of lazy bitches push enter to kill something rather than go experience the great outdoors?

Senate Bill 42, filed by Sen. Jane Nelson, R-Lewisville requires kids to excercise 135 minutes a week while at school. Wasn't P.E. a requirement in school anyway? Nelson is filing this bill to fight the growing epidemic of obesity in schoolchildren,(AAS)

You know what worked for kids in our school?

"Fatty Boom Ba Latty," "You're FAT," "Hey Fat Albert,"

Barring that might we suggest cocaine and perhaps a good eating disorder? Bulemia was sooo last year, though.

Oh, wait! We've got an idea! How about parents? There, under that rock! We see one! Parents, if your child is a fatass why don't you stop buying cupcakes for a few days or something. We're just sayin'.

HB 16 is another of the bills determined to erode the rights of women (and consumers) in the State of Texas. Here's another example of the Republican Party pushing a Religious Idealogue Agenda on the entire state.

The bill would allow a pharmacist to refuse to fill a prescription if it violated his personal beliefs. (Decoded for you idiots that aren't paying attention out there: Pharmacist can refuse to fill a prescription for birth control, the morning-after pill, et cetera.)

What if the pharmacist did not believe in cancer? Would he not give grandma her cancer drugs? Worst yet, would he keep the the prescription and lecture her about her lack of faith in God that must have brought the cancer on her in the first place?

Monday mornings, we're hungover, we're cranky and it's entirely too bright outside to wake up and be filled with a sea of idiocy that continues to surround us.

Frank Corte hates women and all their rights as citizens. Give him a call and tell him to keep his bill out of your hoo-ha. (512) 463-0646

The Republicans in Congress are starting to stick their toe in the water of criticizing and distancing themselves from Tom DeLay.

Funny, there's enough 'chum' in the water to create a feeding frenzy.

Glad that even the Republicans aren't so arrogant and stupid to see that! (AAS)

That seems to be the philosophy of some legislators in the House when it comes to prisons. Current capacity is at 97% and the legislation would add more prisoners, not actually fight crime.

We think the legislators ought to be saving some room for themselves in those prisons. I'm sure Big Tito in cell block H is just waiting to make one of you his bitch.