I’m all for slashing costs, reducing overhead, tightening the belt and all the other euphamisms we use to practice fiscal responsibility. But when the president asks the agencies to cut costs, he should really use much stronger language. I’d suggest something like, “I’m giving you 90 days to stop sucking off the government teet so much it has made you morbidly obese. You should be ashamed. Come back here with some glimmer of hope that you recognize reality when you see it, dumbass.”

But y’all all know I am a little more blunt.

The Obama administration offered some examples of how some agenices have already cut costs. Let’s review and discuss:

• The Department of Homeland Security plans to save an estimated $52 million over five years by purchasing office supplies in bulk. Really? Are the folks over at the Department of Homeland Security the only people in America that don’t have one of those big office supply catalogs from Office Depot? Do they not have that vaguely spinster’ish woman that counts the number of pens you take out of the supply closet and insists we only order the cheapest ball point pens…and we only order supplies on the 21st of the month regardless of whether or not we are out of supplies on the 16th?

If they are looking for such a woman to run this division, I’ve encountered about 10 of them in my career and I’ll gladly refer them to Washington. They’d likely whip that place into fiscal shape in about 3 weeks.

• The Department of Agriculture’s effort to consolidate 1,500 employees from seven locations into a single facility in 2011. Such a move has been estimated to save $62 million over a 15-year lease. Well, clearly this brilliant idea deserves recognition. Who would ever think to reduce expenses by re-negotiating your lease? I’m so relieved people this smart are in charge of the agricultural system in America. No wonder America’s farmers have never been in better shape…oh wait…
• The Department of Veterans Affairs will cancel or delay 26 conferences, saving nearly $17.8 million. The department also will use video-conferencing to cut costs. And here we have the best example of “getting it” to date. When times are tough in corporate America, travel is the first thing to go. Actually, let’s take that back…when times are any time in corporate America, cutting travel budgets are the first thing to go.  And the whole idea to use video conferencing? Well, I guess welcoming the Department of Veterans Affairs to the 21st Century is a baby step.

Seriously, we better see some hella better responses from this challenge that video conferencing and getting office supplies using online ordering. That’s just embarrassing.