How Proud Now?

June 27, 2006 Uncategorized

A new study reports that Texas is a pathetic, third-world, poverty-stricken state. Shocked? So were we. I mean,Governor Perry is so proud of Texas we were wondering how he could be proud that

  • Texas has the highest percentage of uninsured children in the country, 21 percent. The national average is 11 percent.
  • Almost half of Texas children lived in low-income families in 2004. That’s an income below $38,314 for a family of four.
  • Texas’ infant mortality rate and the percentage of babies with low birth weights increased between 2000 and 2003. The state ranks 22nd in the nation on both.

    • When it comes to children’s well-being, Texas ranked 39th overall in the study. Sitting here, overlooking the park and still drinking coffee from a beautiful antique china coffee cup in my Italian suit I find it hard to imagine being poor. Do you think you’d have to shop at Joseph A. Banks instead of Brooks Brothers? What do poor people eat? I bet it’s that instant Macaroni and Cheese stuff. Ew. Why do people have to be so poor? It’s sad but gross. They should get jobs or something because I bet they stink.
    This reminds me of the single most offensive joke I’ve ever heard in my life. Click the permalink if you think you’ve got the stomach for it.


    Q: You know what’s better than fucking an 8 year old?
    A: Nothing

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    Comments (7)

     

    1. Fine Bottled Water says:
      June 27, 2006 at 10:19 am

      I’m pretty sure poor people eat other poor people. At least Colbert told me so.

    2. Pinkdome says:
      June 27, 2006 at 10:32 am

      Oh good. Cause I bet that Macaroni and Cheese stuff tastes like shit.

    3. BacchusXY says:
      June 27, 2006 at 10:35 am

      Most disgusting joke ever?
      Q: What does it taste like to eat out an 80yo pussy?
      A: Depends

    4. gayinmidland says:
      June 27, 2006 at 11:04 am

      More and more poor children? Great! We could always use more fast-food workers, dishwashers and lawn workers. After all, is not the goal to become a new Brazil?

    5. incognito in austin says:
      June 27, 2006 at 1:19 pm

      Remember: You can be proud of Texas, without being proud of Rick Perry.
      (Although I am *damn* proud of his hair. It represents Texas well. (On the other hand, I’d have to say he’s all hair and no policy. (But perhaps I digress. (Or…not.))))

    6. sabestian says:
      June 27, 2006 at 4:45 pm

      We can’t truly be Brazil until we learn how to play soccer. It’s required. Even their poorest kids can beat our butts on the pitch.

    7. cynical optimist says:
      June 28, 2006 at 8:08 am

      Disgusting Joke #1:
      What’s the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
      Getting them back into the wheelchair.
      Disgusting Joke #2:
      Have you heard about the new varsity sport at Texas A&M?
      Squash. (or log rolling)

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